Healing and Beginnngs Story COMPLETE
by Eaglesei
Summary: Sara and Grissom each take time off to reflect on their lives. Sara finds her diversion. They find each other again. Please read and review! Reviews are free and easy! Just do it!
1. Default Chapter

As Grissom walked through the doors, he had a noticed 'Pep' in his step. Today was the day; Sara was back. It had been nearly five weeks since he received the call, the call that changed his world. Sara, drinking, and driving. Only a few days before he asked her if she needed a vacation, but she refuted it. He should have forced her; he should have been her friend. Somewhere in the past 4 years, he had stopped being her friend, he had become numb. If he couldn't have her, he couldn't be near her. Until that night, he had no idea how much his actions had effected their lives.

On the night before Sara was due back at work, Grissom couldn't sleep. Like a teenager in love, he had butterflies in him stomach. He himself had also taken his own advice and was just returning from a three-week vacation. He knew the lab would be hard pressed with both of them off, but he wanted to make sure things were better when they both came back to work**_, if_** she came back. He didn't know where she went to, she asked him not to contact her.

His thoughts brought visions of Sara sitting on a beach, reading a book, sleeping to the sounds of the soothing ocean. Little did he know that is exactly what she was doing. Sara had also started to see a counselor. She needed to get past this. She needs to know everything wasn't her fault; Sara Sidle couldn't save the world. She hadn't picked up a beer since that night, and by the end of her vacation, she felt renewed, relieved, and reborn. At her counselor's request, she made a list of priorities.

Work less OT

Take Vacation Time regularly.

Get out more, make friends, and more importantly, be a friend.

Find a Diversion

Speak to Grissom

Sara needed to let Grissom know she was ok. She was no longer drinking and was working on her internal issues. She also needed to speak to Grissom about her career path. Tell him she would no longer accept 'Because he didn't care if he got it' as an excuse any longer. She wanted goals on how to achieve Lead CSI. She would accept no less. If she didn't earn it on merit, ok.

Her list wasn't long, but involved speaking to Grissom, and finding a way for their relationship to work. Their relationship had worked as Teacher /Student. She learned so much from him, but now, she needed him to see her as an equal, or at least be a supervisor she could learn from. In her mind the idea of her and Grissom ever being lovers was pushed far back into her old hopes and dreams. She had always been at the top, First at Harvard, then in San Francisco. She needed to be there again, and by building up her professional relationship was now her main goal. She knew that wouldn't be easy, but she had nothing else on her mind than to make her life better.

Sara returned to Vegas with new found confidence. Her counselor helped her realize she is an excellent CSI, and even better person. Sara decided she would no longer let Grissom bring her down, either personally or professionally. On her first day back in Vegas, Sara decided on her diversion. Sara signed up with The Vegas Chapter of "Big Brother/Big Sister." She wanted to help out a kid in need. Maybe if she had someone help her when she was a kid she wouldn't be so messed up today. Grissom once said they meet people on the worst days of their lives. She needed to do something that actually helped someone, something that gave her a sense of accomplishment. She volunteered to work with an abused or orphaned child. Sara never considered herself good with children, but children seem to be drawn to her. She could be a good role model, couldn't she? She could not think of a better diversion, helping children who had no one to care about him or her. Sara painfully knew what that felt like. After speaking to the group head, she was assigned a 6 year-old girl whose father had abused her, and was now in jail. She lived with her Mother, but since her mother was the sole supported, she worked a lot and a friend. The girl's name was Molly, and Sara was looking forward to meeting her next week.

On her first day due back at work, Sara woke with a start. Panic began to set it. She quickly rose and hopped in the shower, briefly stopping at the bathroom mirror to look at herself. _Pull yourself together Sidle, you can do this. _Sara jumped in her truck and it drove her to work. She was only 1 hour early, fighting the urge to be there earlier, but she had promised herself. Pulling in the parking lot she couldn't help notice Grissom walking toward the door. Even though it had only been 5 weeks that passed, if felt like an eternity. Realizing she was holding her breath, she let out a sigh. _Why does my heart flip-flop at his site? _Sara walked into work, heading to the break room. _Today is the first day of the rest of my life. _

When Grissom told Catherine he was taking off, she nearly bit his head off. It meant a lot of OT for everyone involved. Grissom reminded her that Greg was almost ready to be out in the field, and that he even found his replacement.

"Catherine, if I don't take this time off," he paused, throwing his glass down on his desk, "Listen, I need to learn how to live, how to be a better supervisor and friend, and I need to know how to love."

Catherine looked at him curiously, "Is this about Sara?" Grissom looked up, thinking about what he wanted to say.

"It's about me, it's about who I have become, and I don't like that person. I haven't been a good supervisor or friend to anyone. I haven't asked you about Lindsey in months. I haven't asked Nicky or Warrick if they had any new love interests, I know nothing about anyone lately, not even myself. Most of all, I may have ruined Sara, the one person who has truly cared about _ME_. I've destroyed her personally and professionally. How did I NOT recommend her for Lead CSI? She is the best CSI here, no offense Catherine."

Catherine looked at her friend realizing how bad his life had become.

"Gil, you need this, I see that now. Please go and find yourself. I know you love Sara; you need to let yourself and Sara believe that. Before you go, talk to Cavallo; tell him your mistake in recommending Nick. Despite the position not being open any longer, Cavallo needs to know how good Sara really is."

With that, Catherine walked out of his office. Grissom sat at his desk for a long time just preparing himself for his time off. He had to do it; he had to make his life better. How could he grow old a tired and lonely man?

Grissom packed up his case, and headed to Cavallo's office. He could at least make this right. Looking up, he asked, "Robert, Do you have a minute?"

XXXXXX

Grissom closed his eyes as he landed in Hawaii. He thought about going to see his mother, but realized he needed to be alone. He needed to think about his life, and what he had become. He was tired, weary, and his life was out of his control. The first few days he did nothing but sleep. He slept dreamless sleep, he was numb.

Into his second week, Grissom was walking along the beach thinking about the exciting young student that he had met all those years ago. What had become of her, what broke her? He painfully knew the answer to that question, **_him_**. Grissom sat down, looking over at a family playing on the beach. In a split second, a ball flew over to him. Grissom looked up to an adorable girl running over to him. As he looked at her face, he saw a bight, shiny 6 Year old with a huge gap in her front teeth. He couldn't help think if he and Sara had a daughter, she would look similar to the girl standing directly in front of him.

"Hi Mister, Can I have my ball back?"

Grissom looked again at her, "Sure, here you go," handing the ball back to her.

Still standing there, she asked Grissom "Hey, what is your name? Mine is Molly."

Again, he looked up into her beautiful blue eyes, "My name is Gil."

"Where is your family Gil? Don't you have one?" She looked at him as if all adults had to have families.

Grissom closed his eyes, and barely breathed out, "no, no I don't."

Still not moving, she asked "how come?"

Grissom loudly exhaled not knowing if he was annoyed at himself or annoyed at the girl who in the last 5 minutes dug into his deepest wounds. How do you explain to a 6 year-old that you thought your career would be your family, and that you ruined any chance you once had at a real family.

Looking up again, Grissom said, "well, it's complicated, but maybe I'll have one some day."

The girl so innocently spoke, "Oh, I only have a Mommy, my Daddy left us. I really don't know where he is, I didn't get to say Good-bye." With that, she turned around and ran back to her Mom.

Slowly, Grissom put his head down and the tears started falling. Slowly at first and soon become a gut wrenching weep. By the time he looked up, darkness overcame the beach, and he was shivering. He still didn't know what he had to do, but he had to do something. He couldn't think any longer that day, walking back to his hotel; he crawled into bed, rolled over and slept. Grissom woke to the sound of his cell phone.

"Grissom."

"Gil, is that you? This is Catherine."

Grissom looked over at the clock; shift must just be getting over. "Gil, I called to see how you were doing."

"Fine, you woke me up." He now pushed himself up to a sitting position. "Catherine, why are you _really_ calling?"

Catherine laughed, "It's been a little crazy here, and I needed to make sure you were still coming back next week, and is Sara?"

Even at the sound of her name, his heart fluttered. In a split second, he realized Sara might not come back. What would he do without her? How did he let this go on for so long, evading her, hurting her, hiding his true feelings for her? Deep down, she had to know he loved her, right?

"Yes Catherine, I'm coming back next week. I only hope that Sara is too." With that, they said their goodbyes. He couldn't speak to her about his fear that Sara wouldn't come back, not now, not ever.

Grissom lay back down on the bed putting his arms behind his head. He closed his eyes and wondered what it would feel like to have Sara lying on his chest. His eyes drew tired, and he drifted off to sleep. By the time Grissom woke up, it was almost noon.

As he was climbing out of bed, he realized he had a full arousal. As most nights, he had wonderful dreams about Sara, only if one day they would come true. Sitting up, he sighed, Great_, what am I going to do about this? _Grissom headed to a cold shower, but that didn't work. Finally, as he stood in the shower, he closed his eyes and started stroking himself. _Sara, hmmm he thought about Sara being in the shower with him, her hands touching him. Her smile, her laugh, SARA, within minutes, he was releasing himself almost shuttering from the explosion. God, if she ever really touched him, he wouldn't last 5 seconds._

Grissom spent the rest of his vacation fishing, hiking and reading. One thought encompassed him almost every minute; He needed Sara, and hoped he wasn't too late.

"Gil? Gil? Are you going to hand out assignments today?" Looking up, he saw Catherine looking in on him. "Yes, I'll be there in a minute."

"Gil, you look well rested. I hope you had fun, and did a lot of thinking," Catherine gave him her normal smirk.

"Hmm," was all he muttered as his thoughts were filled with one thing, Sara.

"Oh and Gil, Sara's in the break room." With that Catherine turned and left.

_Ok Breath. She's here, she came back. He wouldn't ruin it again. _Grissom slowly walked to the break room, stopping just before he got there. He heard a wonderful sound, Sara's laugh. How he missed that sound. He walked towards the room, and looked in. His heart almost stopped as he spotted her sitting next to Nicky. He was breathless. _Ok, I can do this. _

_**TBC**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Healing and Beginnings**_

_**Chapter 2**_

_**Thanks to my Beta Rica and Suzi! Any mistakes in this Fic are mine!**_

_**Slight Season 5 Spoilers**_

"Boss, you're here!" Nicky exclaimed as Grissom walked into the break room.

Grissom looked around t he room before his gaze stopped at Sara. His eyes were cutting hole in Sara's face. In his mind he could hear her say, 'What's your pulse at now?' He was sure if he checked it would be well over 100. He had to calm down, he had to remain professional.

"Thank God you two are back, it's about time," everyone looked around to see Catherine strolling in the break room. "Gil, you know I love playing boss, but it's all yours. We are wiped out, and let's just say I'll never make fun of you when you complain about politics again!"

The room was filled with laughter as everyone took their seats around the table. Grissom took the table head with Catherine and Nick on his left and right, respectively, Sara and Warrick at their sides. Greg took the day off, seems he was working a lot of double shifts in the lab as well as gaining field experience.

As the laughter calmed, Grissom took a minute to look around the room. Sitting in front of him were his friends, friends he hoped would forgive him for his behavior of late. Grissom lifted his head and spoke, "What is everyone currently working on?"

Catherine was the first to speak, although she spoke for them all, as usual "Well, we have all been solo since you both were out. I've been working a DB at the Mandalay Bay Spa, seemed a woman drowned after taking sleep pills, looks like a suicide. Nick and Warrick just finished up 2 B & E's, so they are free."

"We only have one new case, it's a trick roll at the MGM, Nick it's all yours." As Grissom spoke, he looked at Nick. Nick was the epitome of a professional. He just nodded in agreement to his assignment.

"Warrick, see if you can help Catherine to close with her case.**" ** Looking around Grissom saw the eagerness of his team as they looked up at him. His team made the Lab #2 in the country. The team he led, even though for quite some time he hasn't been a good leader.

"Starting this morning, I'm also starting a new weekly breakfast meeting. For one, it will get us to work less OT, for two; maybe it will help ease all the stress and pressure of our jobs. I'm buying this morning, but don't get use to it!" Grissom winked and started to walk out the door.

"Ah, Grissom, what about me-"

Sara, how could he forget Sara? "I'm sorry Sara, you and I have a meeting with Cavallo in 15 minutes in my office, see you then."

Before Sara could reply, Grissom turned and walked out of the room. He managed to stay in control, even though he could not keep his eyes off of Sara. She looked great, she even had a tan, and her hair was curly, the way he liked it.

The gang all took turns looking at each other in confusion. Nick was the first to speak, "Ok, what did that man do with Grissom?" They all laughed and parted ways.

As Catherine was walking out of the room, she turned to look at Sara. "It is great to have you back kiddo. We have really missed you, I hope you are felling better, you look good."

Sara smiled and said thanks. "Catherine, was Grissom off when I was off too?**"**

Catherine stepped back into the room before answering, "yes he took the last 3 weeks off seems he needed a break too."

Sara just looked at Catherine with a questioned look.

"Don't worry Sara, everything is ok, we were slow, and since Grissom insisted you take some vacation time to relax and take a break, he decided he needed it too." With that, Catherine walked into the hall down to Trace where Warrick was waiting for her.

Sara didn't bother getting up, since she had a few minutes before she was due in Grissom's office. _Ok, I've got to calm down, they wouldn't fire me now, would they? I haven't even had the chance to tell them I've changed. I'm not drinking, I feel refreshed. _

Sara slowly got up and made her way to Grissom's office. She got to the doorway to hear Grissom on the phone. She stood there looking at the man who consumed all of her thoughts and dreams. He looked different today, and she couldn't pin point what it was. He had on a blue polo shirt, and black dress slacks. He looked more casual than he did before. His eyes looked so blue today between the blue shirt and the bronze glow of his skin. _Sara, stop thinking about him this way again, it will only hurt you. This might be the man who is about to fire you._

Waving her in, Grissom pointed at the chair in front of his desk for her to sit down. At this point, seeing Sara sitting in front of him, he couldn't even hear the other person on the phone. He muttered a few yes, no's, and ah Hum's, and told the caller he would think about it, and get back to them.

After what seemed like an eternity, Grissom looked up and shocked Sara for the second time today. Sticking his hand out and standing up, he said to her, "Hi, I'm Gil Grissom, your new supervisor, but you can call me Gil." He paused before continuing, "Sara, I really want to start over with you, I think we need a fresh start."

Sara stood there dumb-founded, but shook his hand anyway. "Hi, I'm Sara Sidle." Sara did not know what to think of his behavior. _Don't let him suck you in again Sidle. Play it cool._

Before she could think anymore, Grissom sat back down and started speaking. "Sara, before Cavallo gets here, I wanted to assure you that your job is ok. For now, only a handful of people know about your almost DUI, and everyone is ok with it. They were happy you were taking some time off. It seems that everyone here besides me was aware that you were in serious need of some time away and a break. So, I'm sorry that I wasn't a better supervisor or friend, insisting you takes time off. One thing I can promise you is that it won't happen again." _Ok, that was easy, he said it. He had hoped she didn't see the beads of sweat forming over his brow, she would sure wonder why they had formed_.

Sara absorbed what he was saying, and decided to only speak to him regarding her drinking, for now.

"Griss, I wanted to make sure you know I'm not drinking anymore, and haven't since that night. I should have known better and realized I was running myself in the ground. Now that I am back, I will work less overtime than before, so I hope that doesn't hurt my chances at obtaining any career advancements. I am still going to my P.E.A.P counselors. I know I am a top notch CSI, and deserve to move ahead." Sara carefully thought about how to come out with the next statement, but before she could, Robert Cavallo barged into Grissom's office.

"Hello Ms. Sidle, it is great to see you back. I trust your time off was restful."

"Yes, thank you Robert, it was very good. Sometimes you need to step back from your life to put it in perspective."

Robert hesitated, and decided to ask it. "Is your life in perspective now?"

Sara, before even thinking, let out "yes, life is good, I'm ready to come back and kick ass." _Shit, was that too much? I want them to know the old Sara Sidle is back!_

Grissom sat back in his chair and was in awe of the woman sitting before him. He knew a vacation could relax someone, but Sara almost seemed like she was transformed back to the Sara Sidle who walked into his lab 4 years before. Without even knowing, he let out a sigh. This was the same Sara that he beat down over the past 4 years, and whatever he did in life, he wouldn't do that to her again, not professionally or personally.

Grissom eyes shot up when Cavallo spoke, "Good to hear that Sara, it's exactly the attitude I wanted to hear. Sara, while you were away, a new position became available. The position reports to me, but for your day to day work, you will still report to Gil. The position is 'Supervisor of Training and Development.' You will still continue to hold your current job, but this will be an added function. You will not be required to work overtime, as your staff will do the more mundane parts of your current position."

"My staff?" Sara almost couldn't believe her ears.

"Yes, for now, you will be in charge of training Greg Sanders, get him field ready. Greg will follow your every more. You and Greg will work with Grissom the most, but will rotate to all members of the nightshift. Each person on the nightshift has an expertise, and Greg will learn from them all."

Sara couldn't believe her ears. This is NOT what she expected at all, but then she started to get worried. "Robert, why me? Shouldn't everyone apply for the position?"

Without hesitation, Robert spoke, "Sara, right now you have the #1 solve rate for all CSI for all shifts. Your technical skills are excellent, and you have what it takes to train new staff to be great CSI's. I already have recommendations from Grissom and Brass. So, it is up to you, you have until tomorrow night to let me know."

He then turned to Grissom to speak, although he continued to address Sara. "Why you weren't nominated for the Lead CSI position is still a mystery to me." With that, he walked out of Grissom's office only after he told Grissom to clean up the mess in his office.

Sara sat for a minute trying to absorb what happened the past ½ hour. She looked to see Grissom staring at her. "Griss, I don't know what to think. Is this a good thing?"

"Yes Sara, it is. It is about time I and others here realize what we have, before it's too late." Grissom silently hoped Sara realized he wasn't just speaking about work.

"Griss, do the others know about this yet?" She wasn't sure how they would react to this sudden news. Hell, she didn't even know if they knew why she had taken the time off.

"No, I wanted to discuss it with you, I spoke to Robert about it before I went on vacation, but wasn't sure how quickly it would happen. Sara, you deserve this, you are an excellent CSI." He paused before continuing, "I'm just sorry if I forgot to tell you that, I mean, If I failed to be a good supervisor."

Sara felt her face blush, and looked down. After composing herself, she wanted to tell Grissom about her time off, and how she found her diversion.

"Griss, I hope that Robert was serious about not working a lot of overtime, because I need to leave a few times a week on time. I've joined the Las Vegas "Big Sister" program. I've been assigned a 6 Yr. old girl. Her father is in Jail for abusing her Mother. I'm going to try and help her out. I've been seeing a counselor, and we've decided I need to feel like I'm helping someone, rather than just solving crimes. I start on Saturday, and I'm looking forward to it." Phew, that was out, and she felt better, and looked up to gauge his reaction.

Grissom face had a look of pure adoration on it as he looked at Sara. Five weeks and she seemed to have had an action plan on her life. Little did she know he too had an action plan, and he hoped his was getting off on the right foot also?

"Sara, I think its great, just tell me what days you are going to be busy so I can schedule our group breakfast around it. I was serious before, I would really like to start over."

Sara rose from her chair, feeling satisfied with their conversation. "I'm going to go and see if Catherine needs any help, I'll see you later." Sara walked out of the room, but popped her head back in Grissom's office, "It was nice to meet you Gil."

Grissom was in utter shock at her statement; things were definitely looking up.

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

Sara fell into a good routine, working with almost every member of the night shift on her first week back. With little to think about, she informed Cavallo she was happy to take the job. The next day at assignments, Grissom informed the staff of Sara's new position. Everyone seemed happy for her, even Catherine. After Grissom left, Catherine walked over to Sara and congratulated her even shocked her with a quick hug. "You go girl, we need to build up our women power." Greg, of course was ecstatic when he learned he would be working with Sara on a daily basis. He also thought how lucky he was that he was to be trained by the two best CSI's there, behind him, of course.

Sara couldn't seem to forget when she and Greg got their first assignment together it was a burglary.

"Greg, what is **_that_**?"

"An apple, for the teacher!Didn't your Mother ever give you an apple to give to the teacher?"

"Greg, I'm going to pretend this conversation didn't happen."

"I guess bringing up my childhood fantasy about having sex with my teacher on her desk is out of the question?"

"Greg!" They turned around to see Grissom standing in the doorway. "Greg, do we need to have a conversation regarding Sexual Harassment?"

"No boss, just joking around. I'm ready to learn." Sara looked at Grissom during the conversation, and she could almost see the tiniest smile on Grissom's face.

As the three walked down the hall to their assignment, Grissom casually bumped Greg and whispered, "Greg, the apple was funny."

Greg looked up to his new Mentor and chimed "Does that mean my fantasy is still up for discussion?"

"Greg, don't push it."

It was nice how naturally the three of them worked together. The burglary was an open and shut case. The criminals not only left their prints all over the house, but one of them actually left his wallet. Despite the ease of their assignment, Sara carefully explained and showed Greg step by step crime scene procedures.

Grissom for the most part sat back in awe observing Sara's training ability. He knew Sara was the most technically sound of all the night shift CSI's, but now she was proving she could share her skills with Greg. The Sara he saw before him was a much stronger person, and he counted 10 episodes of actual laughing from her today, 9 more than he heard in the past year. He was glad he had the conversation with Cavallo, despite it looking bad that he made the mistake in the first place.

"Grissom, can you take the evidence and Greg back to the lab? I have to meet my "Little Sister" in half an hour. "

"Sure. And Sara, good work on training Greg."

Sara turned around and flashed him her million-dollar smile. Grissom felt his heart flutter at the site of a happy Sara. "Thanks Gris, see you tomorrow."

Sara wanted to get to the center where she was to meet Molly early. She wanted to ask the director for some background on Molly so she could know what to expect. The director was happy to see her, and asked her to take a seat. While waiting for the Director to skim through Molly's file, Sara couldn't help but think how nervous she was. Her nervousness was lost as the director told her all about Molly's background.

"Molly comes from a broken home, the father is currently in jail for multiple cases of abuse on her Mother, the last time landing her Mom, Megan, in the hospital for 5 weeks. Although Molly was not abused herself, she witnessed more than any 6 year old should see. Megan decided not to tell Molly her father was in Jail, so try and avoid that conversation. Molly suffers from anxiety, nightmares and attachment issues."

Sara took it all in, and couldn't help thinking the director was talking about her. She only wished there were this type of program when she was a girl, maybe it would save her from years of anxiety, nightmares and attachment issues. Sara was now more determined than ever to help this girl out, and make her realize this wasn't her fault, and that she was special. The director looked over Sara's shoulder to see Molly walking in. Sara turned around to see the lanky blond hair- blue eyed girl walking towards her. Sara quickly got up and surveyed her. Darn, she was cute! Why did she have to have such a hard life for a 6 yr old. She should only worry about silly things, not such horrible things as seeing her Mom and Dad fight.

"Hi Molly, my name is Sara." The little girl didn't say much, just looked up at Sara with her big blue eyes.  
  
"Molly, are you hungry? We could go to McDonalds and get some lunch?" Molly nodded her head in agreement, and took Sara's hand. Sara turned to the director and told her she would be back at 6pm, giving them 6 hours to get to know each other. Sara wasn't sure what they would do after lunch; she made a mental note to ask Catherine what 6-year-olds like to do.

Lunch went over well, although the two didn't talk much. Sara asked Molly what she wanted to do next, and Molly suggested they go the park. Sara decided to go to the park near her house, parking her car in her normal parking spot.

Molly again took Sara's hand while walking to the park. Molly told Sara she just started kindergarten, and that she was learning to read. Sara told Molly if she need any help to make sure and ask, and Sara could help her out. Sara saw the first smile from Molly all day, and noticed she had a big gap between her front teeth. It was ironic how similar she and Molly were, both physically and emotionally.

Sara was not so prepared for the next conversation they had.

"Sara, do you have a Mom and Dad?"

"Yes, Molly, I do. They live in California."

"Are they nice to you?" Molly looked up again at Sara and Sara noticed her eyes were filling up with tears.

"Molly, all parents are not nice some times, but are nice most of the time. My parents had their ups and downs." Sara did not want to reveal too much about her past, but she wanted Molly to know she wasn't alone.

The two talked back and forth for a while, and as the sun was setting, Sara needed to get Molly back to the center. Sara gave Molly her home and cell phone numbers, and told her to call anytime. When they arrived back at the center, Molly jumped up and hugged Sara. "Sara, do you promise you will come back and be my friend again?" The statement ripped through Sara's heart. "Of course Molly, I'll see you next week. What do you want to do next week?"

"The Zoo, I want to go the Zoo". Molly smiled as Sara agreed to take her to the zoo next week.


	4. Chapter 4

When Sara returned to work the next day, she found herself smiling at her new life. Passing through the doors of CSI, she ran into Brass.

"Sara, you look good, it's good to see a smile on your face."

"Thanks Brass, I do feel good. You don't have to worry about me anymore; I am not popping cough drops any longer. "

"It feels good to be free of that burden, doesn't it Sara?"

"Yes Brass, it does. Later."

Sara continued her walk into the office. Funny how her head was up now, very different than even two months before when she barely looked up, and never made eye contact with anyone.

Walking through the corridors of CSI, Sara felt as if she was being followed. Stopping in her tracks, Sara turns around to see Conrad Ecklie standing behind her. She heard the rumor's he was back, but wouldn't believe it until she saw him.

"Well, well, Sara Sidle. Don't think just because you got some fancy title now that you are training any of the day shift hires. You night shift folks may have fooled Cavallo, but you haven't fooled me."

In the past, Sara would have shrugged a comment like this off, but not now.

"You know Conrad, if you want me to re-train some of your current staff, maybe the day shift would have a solve rate that equals the night shift."

Sara smiled at him with a big smirk on her face, and walked to the break-room. Inside she found that no one was in yet, so she decided to start a fresh pot of coffee. While the pot was brewing, she thought about Molly, and her young life. Knowing what the counselor told her, she was sure Molly was hiding what she knew about her Father abusing her Mom. Sara made a mental note to try and talk to Molly next time to make sure she knew it wasn't her fault.

Catherine was the first to arrive after Sara. Catherine looked over at Sara with a look of admiration. She could help but think that Sara had really turned her life around. Everyone knew of Sara's near DUI, and wondered how that would effect her. Whatever she did to change, everyone liked having the new Sara around. Tomorrow morning they were all having breakfast, that would be a good test to see how the team acted around each other. Catherine was curious to see how Sara and Grissom acted towards each other. Things seemed better between them, less tense. Not that they were overly friendly but casually comfortable.

"Cath, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, what's up?"

"When Lindsey was six, what kinds of things did she like to do?"

"Well, that was a long time ago, but let me think. She liked playing with her dolls, having tea parties, going to the park, going to the zoo, and Ballet."

Sara wasn't sure if Molly would like dolls and tea parties, nor did Sara think she was the type of person to actually do those things, but she was happy to see the Zoo was a good choice.

"Thank Cath. I am actually being a 'big sister' to a six –year- old named Molly. I'm not sure of the kinds of things she would like. Next Saturday we are going to the Zoo. She has a really hard life, Dad is in jail for assault on her Mom, and Mom works a lot. She is a latch key child at the age of 6. I hope that I can make some part of her life happier."

"Sara, just ask her what she wants to do, at that age, they **_will_** tell you!" Once they start taking, they never stop. Trust your instincts and just go with the flow.

At the same time, both Catherine and Sara turned towards the door when they heard the rest of the team coming down the hall. Grissom seemed to show a different side to the whole team. When he sat down to hand out assignments now, he always took a few minutes out to see how everyone was. It wasn't an overwhelming change, nor would he become best friends with each of them, it was an understanding, a respect of human beings that Grissom was now allowing himself to show he had. Before the team left to each of their assignments, he reminded everyone about the team breakfast, and told them they would leave at 8am on the dot.

Sara and Greg were assigned a floater in Lake Mead. She was sure Greg would be sick at the bloated body, but he was very professional. In the short few weeks she had been training Greg, he had learned a lot. He still cracked his jokes, but took his duties seriously. Grissom was even impressed, and told Greg so on several occasions.

Sara and Greg were back at the lab and had all evidence into DNA and Trace. The body probably was in water for a few months, so it was a mess. Usually floaters stay at the bottom of the lake until gases in the body build up so much the body is almost shot up out of the water. Her explanation to Greg met her with a look of disgust, but he managed to keep his stomach in check.

True to his word, with five minutes left in shift Grissom strolled down to the break-room to collect his team. They all headed over to the diner, and took their seats. Grissom casually slipped next to Sara, hoping no one would notice. The conversation was light, and they all had a good time. Grissom found out that Nick was dating a girl for several months, she was a teacher at the local grade school Nick really seemed to like her, a lot, and was even bringing her home to Texas next weekend to meet his family.

Sara told the team about Molly, and what she hoped to accomplish. At one point Catherine looked at Grissom, noticing him hanging on every word Sara spoke_. Maybe he did figure some things out while he was away._ Whatever happens in the future, she for one hoped this happy team environment kept up.

Work was more relaxing, and this breakfast was very enjoyable.

After having their fill, the team rose to leave. Sara excused herself, as she had to use the restroom before she went home. When she got out she expected everyone to be gone, and was surprised to see Grissom leaning against the exit clearly waiting for her.

"I thought I'd wait for you and walk you out to your car."

"Thanks _Gil, _that was nice of you."

"Well, I'm trying Sara."

Sara thought the mood had gotten to heavy, so she casually punched Grissom in the arm, and said, "Let's go!"

Walking out into a warm Vegas morning, Grissom asked Sara if she felt like taking a walk. "You know, to walk off the food."

Sara couldn't help smiling at a fumbling Grissom; it was kind of cute. They decided to go to the park near Sara's house. It had nice walking trails, and would at least put one of them near home.

They walked along without a lot of words, but both were content with each other company. It was Grissom who finally broke the silence and spoke to Sara. He wanted to say more, but fumbling with his words he decided to talk about work, which was safe.

"You are doing a terrific job with Greg. He is coming along nicely. I knew you'd be the person to teach him the proper way of tackling a crime scene." _UGH, I can't even speak right around her now, 'tackling a crime scene', what was that?_

"Thanks Gil, I do like it. To be honest, I wasn't sure at first, but I like how it makes me feel. Greg is very attentive, and really wants to learn." Pausing for a moment she remembered the first time she met Grissom. He was teaching a Forensics seminar at Harvard. She can still remember his every word. She remember his talks and exactly what she learned from him. Just a few hours molded her life into where she is now.

"Is that how you felt when we first met? I'm sure I was such a pain in the ass asking you all of those questions, but it was so fascinating and I couldn't get enough of you."

"Yes Sara, it was nice. Usually people are so bored by my seminars, but you wanted to learn it all. You ate it up, and it gave me a sense of accomplishment. I was happy to give all I had to you." _What I really wanted to tell her was how I longed to see her every day. How I love teaching her, hell, I love her._

"Gil, how come it was so easy back then, and not now?"

Before answering, Grissom walked them over to a bench overlooking a little pond. The ducks were swimming around and making peaceful chirping noises. In the distance, they could hear kids playing. _He couldn't very well tell her it is because he didn't love her back then_. Thinking carefully about his reply, he barely managed to open his mouth and speak. "Sara, I can't answer that, all I can say is I can make it better now. I cannot explain to you things that I don't even understand... I truly hope you understand."

"Yes, it is a start. I just miss **_you _**Gil. I miss learning from you, laughing with you, and I know the rest of the team feels the same, at least Nick and Warrick do. You have so much to teach us all, and in ways we have so much to teach you. Please don't go back into your cocoon again. Can you promise me that?"

Stifling back a yawn, she turned to look at him. He was looking off to the lake thinking about what she said, he knew she was right. With their silent communication happening, they rose and started walking back to Sara's. Sara didn't need answers to her questions, she just needed him to realize what she said. She knew he was thinking about it, just by the way he crinkled his brows down. She knew his body language better than even he did. She could tell if the stress was getting to him simply by the way his shoulders shrugged forward. She new if he pinched his nose it meant a migraine was near, she also new when he looked into her eyes he so badly wanted to say something, but left it up to his eyes to handle his communication.

When they arrived, Grissom turned to say good bye to Sara. Having the same thought, at the exact time, Sara turned and they bumped square into each other.

"Ouch, that hurt" Sara exclaimed as she rubbed her nose dramatically.

"I'm sorry Sara, I didn't mean to hurt you." Grissom said to her with his best smirk on his face.

"It's ok, the bump on my nose _should_ go down before shift." Sara couldn't help sneering at him. _Gosh, it did feel good to joke again _

Her laughing was not lost on Grissom. Grissom started to smile at the sound of her laugh, a sound he loved to hear. He briefly closed his eyes to soak the past hour in.

Sara looked back up at him and noticed his face became serious again.

"You know Sara, I never mean to hurt you." He hoped she read further into his statement than just discussing her nose. But for now, he would leave it at that.

"I know Gil, just don't let it happen again, ok?" She smiled at him attempting to ease the impact of her statement. Sara hoped he would catch the double meaning behind her bold statement. Looking up at him, she saw his beautiful blue eyes looked down into her soul. She had to admit she loved when he looked at her that way. If she could only get him to say what his eyes were telling her all along, she would be even happier.

"Now, get out of here and let me get some sleep. Before you say a word, I do sleep. Sleep and I have a new faithful understanding." She casually looked up at him, noticing he still held her gaze.

"Goodnight Sara, I'll see you tonight." One day maybe he would see for himself how she slept. Maybe one day they too will have a newly found understanding, at least now they were on the way to finding one.


	5. Chapter 5

**Healing and Beginnings - Chapter 5**

**I based the Zoo information on the Bronx Zoo in NY, as I do not know much about the Zoo's in Vegas. Thank to you those who are reading this.. Please Read and Review!!**

Sara woke with a Start realizing she was to meet Molly in one hour. Although this mentoring program was taking away some of her sleeping time, she hadn't looked forward to anything in quite a long time. Sara showered, grabbed a travel mug of coffee and headed off to meet her.

When she arrived at the center, Molly was already waiting for her. Molly was quietly sitting on a bench next to a woman. As Sara approached her eyes connected with Molly.

"Sara! Sara! Sara!" Molly's excitement couldn't be mistaken, however the woman seated next to Molly had a different expression on her face. 

"Hello, I'm Miranda, Molly's Mother. I wanted to meet you as Molly hasn't stopped talking about you all week"

Sara was almost lost for words, not expecting to meet anyone except Molly today. Sara looked carefully at the woman; she looked normal not that Sara would have expected differently. Sara did see a familiar sorrow in the woman's eye, one of tiredness, grief, and a longing to make her child happy. "It is nice to meet you Molly is great and I'm happy be able to spend time with her."

The two women exchanged a quick smile while Miranda looked over at Molly to tell her to have a good time.

"I will Mom, see you later."

"Molly, can you give Sara and I a minute to talk?"

Molly went back to sit on the bench, while the two women talked closer to the door. "Sara, I'm not sure how much you know about our family, but Molly's father is currently in jail for Spousal Abuse. Because of our lovely system, he pleaded to lesser charges and is up for parole soon. Please be very careful and make sure no one tries to talk to Molly. I'm not sure what she exactly remembers, but the last thing Rich said to me was that I would pay, and he would get Molly. He is in jail in Ohio, and hopefully will not find us. I signed Molly up for this program to let her do some "happy things". Outside going to Hawaii with my sister and her family, I have to work so much we really do not get out at all"

Exhaling, Sara carefully rubbed her hand on Miranda's arm. "I promise I will not let anything happen to her." Sara pulled a business card out and handed it to the woman letting her know that she would help in any way possible. Closing her eyes hoping that Molly didn't remember anything that happened between her Mom and Dad, she wouldn't want the girl growing up having nightmares as she herself has had most of her life.

The two women exchanged a quick smile while Miranda looked over at Molly to tell her to have a good time.

"I will Mommy, see you later."

Sara and Molly arrived at the Zoo around Noon; the sun was warm, but not over bearing like it had been in past days. It was amazing to Sara how comfortable she felt with Molly, she never was really comfortable with kids at all, let alone mushy. If 4 months ago someone would have told her that she would taking her days off, not working, and go to the Zoo while holding hands with a 6 year-old she would have laughed out loud. _Do you have a diversion Sara? You need to find one. _She could clearly remember Grissom's words to her during the Pamela Adler case. Even at present, the cases were as grim, but having something to look forward to each weekend kept her mind clear of her ever-present nightmares.

Things were going great at the Zoo, they already saw the Monkey's, Tigers and Elephants and decided to have lunch before going to visit the Butterfly house. Molly couldn't wait to see the butterflies they were her favorite. Sitting down eating lunch, Molly told Sara about school and what she did that week. Sara decided to see how much Molly remembered about her Father, she wanted to make sure she knew what ever he did wasn't her fault.

"Molly, what do your remember about your Dad?" Sara's words trailed off, as she was now even more apprehensive in asking her these questions.

"He was great, he played with me, he has big brown eye's." Molly's eyes were bright when she spoke of him. Hardly what she expected given what Miranda had just told her about. It is better if Molly didn't remember.

"Molly, do you remember your Mom and Dad fighting?" Sara knew she shouldn't be prodding, but her curiosity got the better of her.

Looking down, Molly's mood changed. "Yeah, they fought a lot, Mommy said she was bad and Dad had to punish her. She told me never to be bad and it wouldn't happen to me. Mommy made me hiding space in my closet for when he started yelling. I had a pillow and blanket in there, and a special dolly."

_Bastard. No one should go through that. Miranda actually thought it was her fault, Sara hoped she was getting some help. _

"Molly, he can't hurt either one of you now, you know that, right?"

"Yeah, how come Mommy doesn't know where he is, is he mad at me?"

Sara's heart was breaking, not sure how to proceed; she surely wasn't qualified for this type of discussion. They cleaned up lunch and the two of them headed to the butterfly reserve. She re-assured Molly that she could tell Sara anything, and that she would never hurt her.

Heading into the butterfly reserve, Molly was skipping. They arrived and went inside, Sara was taken aback when she saw all of the beautiful butterflies. Not knowing any of the technical names, Molly and Sara picked how the pretty ones. While capturing the beauty of 2 golden yellow and blue butterflies suckling on a flower, Sara felt a presence behind her.

"The blue butterflies are Blue Copper Lycaena heteronea, native of Nevada, the yellow ones are Mimosa Yellow Eurema nise".

Sara quickly turned around to be face to face with Grissom. "What are you doing here Grissom?" Sara asked quizzically of her boss.

"I often come here to relax, I love looking at all of the butterflies, it relaxes me. Once a month they have a concert Violinist, it is amazing, and today is that day. " Not saying anymore than he actually needed to, he left it at that. _What he failed to tell Sara is that he overheard her and Catherine talking and he wanted to see Sara and Molly. Picturing Sara as a Mother was a fantasy he had been having all week, not that she would ever be a mother to his children, not at his age, right?_

Having trouble taking her eyes off of Grissom's face, Sara was snapped back to reality by Molly pulling on her shirt. "Grissom, this is Molly, my friend. Molly, this is Gil Grissom my boss" Molly just looked up at him while maintaining a death grip on Sara's leg.

Grissom looked down at the girl and was shocked at the look of familiarity on her face. How could he ever forget that face, her golden hair, that adorable gap in her teeth? Why was she familiar to him? Before he could remember Molly spoke.

"Are you the man who threw my ball back at the beach in Hawaii? I remember asking you where your family was, and I remember you were sad, very sad."

Closing his eyes remember that fateful day of soul searching, Grissom quietly agreed with Molly. Not wanting to make eye contact with Sara, he turned and started telling them about the butterflies.

Sara was puzzled at Grissom's solemn acknowledgement. Why was he sad? She couldn't help think how amazing it is that she was now Molly's mentor, and that Molly had met Grissom so many miles away and discussed his sadness. How could he open up to a stranger, a kid no less, and not her. Although after listening to his confession to Lurie, it was becoming apparent that he was more comfortable talking to strangers than is friends.

The rest of the time at the Zoo Grissom stayed with Sara and Molly. They had a great time and Grissom told Molly all about each butterfly there. As Sara listened to Grissom's describing each intricate detail of the butterflies, Sara was swept with an admiration for Grissom the person, not just Grissom the boss. Sara looked in envy as Molly casually took Grissom's hand in hers as they walked towards the exit. It was nearing six, and Molly needed to be back to the center to meet her Mom.

When they reached Sara's car, Grissom turned to say goodbye to Sara and Molly. For the second time today, she was shocked at Grissom's behavior. She watched as Grissom knelt down next to Molly to say goodbye.

"Goodbye Molly, thank you for letting me enjoy the beauty of the butterfly reserve with you" Molly smiled at her approval.

Molly looked deep into Grissom's blue eye's, pausing momentarily before asking "Gil, did you ever find your family?"

With his infamous stoic face on, Grissom quietly said answered "No."

"Well, if you want, maybe Sara could be your big sister too. I mean you could come with us next time, if you want."

Sara and Grissom shared a look of contentment before Grissom answered "Anytime you want an escort around the zoo, you give me a call, ok?"

Sara smiled at Grissom unsure of the man she witnessed today. She wasn't quite sure what the exchange between he and Molly meant, but didn't want to further him being uncomfortable. "Thanks for the Zoological lessons Gil, I, I mean **_we_** had fun." _What she really wanted to say is that today for the first time ever she realized what if felt like to be a family. _

Sara and Molly hopped in the car and arrived at the center with only two minutes to spare. They were both in great moods, and walked up to the doors. Walking through Sara felt Molly grip her hand with a death grip.

Looking up, she saw what frightened the girl. Miranda stood there with a look of fear Sara easily recognized. Next to her was a man, a man who wore a cold, hard look to him.

Molly was the first to break the silence uttering almost silently, "Daddy?"

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

**Healing and Beginnings Chapter 6**

Sara's eyes met up with Miranda's pleading for her to explain the situation. Miranda seemed almost too frighten to speak, and when she finally did, the words dismayed Sara.

"Sara, this is my husband and Molly's Dad, Rich," Miranda paused before decided how much information she wanted to give to Sara. Before she could decide, Rich possessively took Molly away from Sara and proceeded to walk out the door, leaving Sara with a look of pure fear on her face.

"Listen Sara, Rich has changed, he told me so. He said everything will be ok now, and he won't hurt me again. I believe him." She smiled while and tried to convince Sara. "Don't worry, I will still keep Molly in this program, she really likes it."

Sara looked deeply into the woman's eyes, knowing she had already fallen for the excuse every abuser makes. Knowing very well she wasn't going to change Miranda's mind, Sara reminded her to be careful, giving her an additional business card. "Call me if you need anything. If you feel you or Molly are in danger, get out, call me anytime." Sara closed her eyes and swallowed hard attempting to fight off sick feeling in her stomach. "Please tell Molly I'll see her next week."

XXXXXXXX

The next day, Sara pulled into the Lab's parking lot, practically jumping out of the car and marching into the lab. Her happy demeanor over the past weeks had been replaced with a serious determination. Seeking out Brass to get further information on Molly's Dad, Sara nearly ran over Warrick.

"Woah girl, where is the fire?" Warrick said with a half grin on his face. His grin quickly faded when he saw the look on Sara's face. 

"I need to see Brass" is all Sara managed to utter before curtly turning and walking down the hallway.

Storming into Brass's office, Sara practically shouted at him. "I need the background and all files on Richard Ford. He recently did time at the State Pen for Spousal Abuse." I need this ASAP."

"Sara, first, no need to shout at me. Boy, this must be some big case for you to walk in here barking orders before you even put your pocket book down." Brass, ever the professional kept his tone down in an attempt to calm Sara down. He and Sara certainly weren't best friends, but they did share a demon, one in which united them.

Sara sat down, took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down the rage burning inside her. "Brass, I'm going to be honest with you, it is not for a case. You know the Big Sister program I am in? Brass nodded.

"Well the Father is home from Jail, I had the pleasure of meeting him yesterday. From the look of fear from both Molly and her Mom, I wanted to see the extent of what he **did** to land in Jail." Closing her eyes praying her friend would help her out.

Brass didn't need to think about it and told Sara to give him an hour. Sara thanked him, and exited as quickly as she came.

Sara went straight to the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face_. Damn Grissom for making me find a diversion. Damn them for making me meet Molly, and liking her._ She was sure Molly now needed Sara as much as Sara needed Molly. Sara fought to keep these feelings suppressed and tried to think about it rationally. Maybe he did change. She needed to give him a chance. She only had six days until she saw Molly again. She pushed back any thoughts of what could happen in one week. Closing the door behind her, she headed to the break room and thankfully found herself alone.

Sara's deep thoughts were interrupted as Grissom and crew joined her in the break room. Grissom handed out assignments, giving each of them their own cases. All for the better Sara thought, she would be lousy company. Before heading out the door, Grissom stopped her.

"Sara, everything ok? You seem a bit, um, down?" Grissom looked at her with absolute concern. In all honesty, he hasn't stopped thinking about her since the Zoo the day before. The day was a treasure, and he slept last night with pleasant dreams of Sara and family outings.

"Molly's Father was let out of jail. He is back. I'm trying to be optimistic, but you and I both know how often abusers become repeat abusers. I'm afraid for Molly, and her Mom." Sara explained the situation on what she encountered when she brought Molly back to the center the day before. "I've asked Brass to get me the background on him, I need to know."

Suddenly afraid of Sara's reaction to the situation, Grissom fought the urge to grab her in his arms and assure her it would be ok. Instead, he let her know he would be there if she needed him. "My door is always open, and you have my cell and pager numbers. Do you promise to call me if you need anything Sara? To talk, listen, or be there for you."

_Grissom hold me, tell me nothing will happen to her. Tell me it will be ok. _Sara wanted so badly to confide to him her worst fears. Instead they looked deeply into each other's eyes, silently speaking what neither of them could speak out loud.

"Thank you Griss, I'll remember that." Trying to lighten the mood, Sara told Grissom how Molly talked about him all the way home from the Zoo.

Sharing yet another smile and warm look, Sara didn't want the moment to end. "You know, I've never seen myself as kid friendly, but Molly seems so different. She is really easy to get along with, like a friend, only she's only 46 inches!" Looking up at Grissom, they both had a good laugh when he agreed. Without even thinking, Grissom raised his hand to touch Sara, stroking her arm in a calming fashion.

"Everything will be alright Sara. Please try not to worry, although knowing you, you will anyway." Grissom paused to access Sara's reaction. "Sara, I hope you consider me your friend. Promise me you will call if you need anything."

Sara looked up at Grissom with a look of curiosity and admiration. For the first time in a long time, Sara **did **considered him her friend, which felt great. Quite honestly, he was the only person who knew what was going on with her life, the only person who she confided in as of late and unfortunately, and the only person who could break her heart.

Sara thankfully had a very easy day, dealing with a bank robbery. The Perp, who got away with only $1,250 dollars, was very easy to track down. He all but smiled at the surveillance cameras. Having two gold front teeth with a history of bank robberies was enough to nab their suspect. Finding herself at a loss on what to do, she sought out Brass to see what he found out about Rich. Before Sara even made it to the doors, Brass walked in.

"Let's go to Grissom's office and talk." Knowing it was an order rather than a request, Sara followed Brass.

"We can talk in here, Grissom went to a Supervisor's meeting."

"Sara, this guy is a scumbag. I will not get into specifics, but make no doubt about it; he is a first class abuser. He hid behind a suit all day making a lot of money as a stockbroker, but for 9 years he abused his wife. 15 trips to the hospital, 2 concussions, 10 broken ribs, broken nose, broken eye socket. He snapped her arms like they were twigs."

Disgust was written all over the faces of Brass and Sara.

"ASSHOLE!" Feeling tears well up in her eyes, Sara dug her fingernails into her hand to attempt to ward off crying.

"Sara, I know I don't have to tell you, but watch out. Look for signs, but don't do anything stupid. If you suspect anything, call me, the police will handle it." Brass gave her his best hard guy look.

He was right, Sara knew better, but she couldn't even convince herself to walk away at this point.

_XXXXXXXXXXXXX_

Two months had passed since Molly's father returned to her life. And so far, they seemed like a happy family. Sara continued to see Molly every week and they had a great time. Sara was shocked how well she and Molly got along. They hadn't been back to the Zoo since they met Grissom there, but planned on going back soon. Sara wanted to ask him to join them, but was afraid to ruin their renewed friendship.

True to his word, Grissom and the team had weekly breakfast meetings that no one missed. They all looked forward to it, and it proved to be a great stress reliever. For the first time since joining the Vegas lab, Sara felt like part of the team. Collectively, the group was happy that Grissom and Sara were getting along. They worked together much more, and both were training Greg. Sara taught him by the book, where as Grissom taught him about instinct. The collection of which was producing a top notch CSI. 

Sara felt much more comfortable now with herself and with Grissom. Even last week when she had to process a bad rape case, she found herself seeking Grissom for comfort. Unlike six months ago, Sara could not have walked into Grissom's office just to talk. Now, he knew how to comfort her and she him, and without either of them wanted to admit it, they were heading towards more. She always knew she loved Grissom, but found herself falling "In love" with him.

The rest of the team often joked about them now. Not in a bad way, nor mocking. They referred to Grissom and Sara as being in their own little world. He talked to the group, but his eyes were on Sara. She cracked a joke, but looked to him for his response. No one dared to take "Sara's" seat at breakfast, as they all knew it which seat it was, next to Grissom. It was the playing picking at each other's food, and the playful hand jab that followed. Most importantly, it was the way they both smiled now.

Getting ready to leave for the day, Sara walked past Grissom's office, waving and saying her goodnight.

"Sara?" Grissom called out to her, hoping she heard him.

"Yeah Griss?"

"What are you doing with Molly this weekend?" Hoping he wasn't being to forward, but he wanted to tell her about the new Butterflies display at the Zoo.

"Not sure, I usually leave it up to her." P_anic struck her, why is he asking me this?_

"Well, just wanted to let you know the Zoo has some new Butterflies, and tomorrow they are having a celebration there, some music. Judging how much Molly liked it last time, may be an option."

Hoping her voice wouldn't crack, Sara decided to ask. "Are you going tomorrow? You know, because, Molly would like that. She had a good time with you, you were a good guide."

Grissom tried to play his excitement off. "Yes, I'll probably go around noon again." Hoping he wasn't sounding too pushy, "Maybe I'll see you there?"

"Sounds Great, I'm sure Molly will be love it!"

Sara started walking out the door, but turned back when she heard Grissom mutter something.

Looking up, he said it again, only louder this time.

"Me too."

TBC

Please review!


	7. Chapter 7

**Healing and Beginnings Chapter 7**

It's not a date, although it sure felt like one, at least to Grissom. The memories of their first Zoo trip still fresh in his head, his heart still melting over Sara's smile. His thoughts were interrupted by the ring of his cell phone.

"Grissom," flipping his phone open praying it wasn't Sara canceling.

"Hi Gil, is Catherine. Listen, I forgot to mention to you yesterday, but I'm having a little party for Lindsey's Birthday today at 5pm."

"Well, I was actually heading over to the Zoo to meet up with Sara and Molly." Grissom cringed realizing what just came out of his mouth.

"She was my next call, I've already phoned Warrick, Nick and Greg, and they are coming. Maybe you could stop by after; it would me a lot to Lindsey." _So, he's meeting them at the Zoo? Catherine was intrigued._

"Sure, see you then Cath." Grissom smiled when he realized he would have more time to see Sara today, now glad he picked up the call.

Picking up his keys, Grissom headed out the door, not before looking at himself in the mirror one last time. _Who knows what she sees in me, but I'm done questioning it!_

Driving over to pick up Molly, Sara couldn't help feel excited, although she was careful not to read into "this" too much. What ever "this" was.

Walking towards the Butterfly sanction, Sara ran into Grissom, literally. "Hey, it's you!"

"Hi Guys, I was just looking for you." Grissom felt his face grown flush, and tried to brush it off explaining what had already seen.

"Hi Gil! Can we go see the butterflies now?" Molly's excitement was written all over her face. She immediately grabbed Grissom's hand dragging him to their destination.

Even though she was sure Grissom felt uncomfortable with Molly holding his hand, he sure brushed it off. Although she felt horrible for feeling so, Sara was jealous how easy it was for Molly to talk to Grissom. She called him "Gil" and held his hand. She was quite sure if she had tried to hold his hand, she would be feeding him oxygen and picking him up off the floor.

The day turned out to be great, and when it was time to leave, no one wanted it to end. They walked slower than they had when they walked in, each trying to delay leaving one another.

_This is ridiculous Sara; just ask him if he is going to Catherine's. _

Taking a deep breath, Sara looked over towards Grissom, who in turn looked at her.

"Sara, what time does Molly have to be back?"

"Not until 8, I'm planning taking her to Lindsey's party." Feeling relief that he brought it up, she was able to look in his eyes.

"Good," "I mean, um, I'm going too." He hoped they couldn't read his excitement.

"YOU ARE?" Molly practically squealed at him.

Sara and Molly followed Grissom to Catherine's. Neither of them seemed to care about how it appeared when they walked in together.

Introspectively, Grissom had an inner joy imagining going to a party with a family, the thought provoking a smile on his face.

"Thanks for coming; Lindsey is going to be thrilled." Catherine exclaimed loudly. Her cheery mood evident as she spilled her wine on Sara while attempting to hug her.

"You must be Molly, Sara has told me about you. Did you have a great time today?"

Holding on to Sara's leg, Molly shyly shook her head. "Gil and Sara brought me to see the Butterflies, I like the yellow ones"

Looking across the back yard, Warrick waved Sara and Molly over to get them a drink, and introduce them to Lindsey.

"So it's Gil, huh?" Catherine asked him sarcastically.

"Yes, Molly called me that when we met; I haven't corrected her, why?"

"Nothing, just busting your chops, relax. Let's go get a drink."

And that they did, drink. Everyone did except Sara. A few hours later after singing to the birthday girl, Gil found himself sitting on a lounge chair admiring Sara from a distance.

Studying Gil and following his gaze, Catherine thought it was a good time to talk to him. Maybe he would open up with a drink or two in him.

"Enjoy the view?"

Grissom just nodded, almost too lost in thought to answer.

"Gil, how do you feel about her?" 

Closing his eyes, he had no idea how to even begin to answer her.

"I feel enough"

"Enough?"

"Is that Geek for love?"

"Catherine, lay off, it is complicated, I need to be her friend now, and it is working, I can't ruin it." 

"How long have we known each other Gil? You don't have to answer that. I know you well enough to know how much you feel."

Lowering his head, he did not know what to say. With out thinking, he started talking.

"You want to know? Here goes. I love her. I love her so much it hurts. I can't breathe without her. I know she is present because my heart skips a beat. I can't imagine her loving this old man in the same way, but I also can't imagine my life without her any longer. Since her near DUI, I live every day waking up with thoughts of her, and go to sleep with the same thoughts. My nightmares are no longer nightmares; they are dreams of a life with her." Feeling deflated he lowered his head again.

Catherine was shocked at his admissions, and although she knew he cared for her, she never knew he cared this deeply. "Oh Gil, you have to tell her, what are you waiting for? That girl is crazy about you. Do you really think you will find anyone else who would put up with your quirks? NO offense, but besides bugs and DNA, you two are identical."

"Cath, I have no idea how to tell her. I have no idea how to love **_anyone_**, especially her. I've never loved anyone before. Sure, I've given myself to women, but I've never given my heart. Since the day I met Sara Sidle, she has held that. I'm 48 years old and I am embarrassed to say I have no idea what to do."

Gulping down his third beer, Grissom was aware he was becoming numb. Suddenly, he realized this is probably why Sara has been drinking, to lessen the pain, feel numb. Pain he caused her, both professionally and personally.

"Ok Gil, what are you worried about, your career? Your age?" She looked at him in time to see the how the words seemed to cut through him.

Taking a minute to gather his thoughts, he slowly raised his head up. "I used to think it was my career I was worried about it, but not now. I've been there, done that. I'm not going any further up the food chain, nor do I want to. I have always loved the science of it all; the rest is give or take. But Sara is on her way up, how can I stop her?  
  
Sitting down next to him, she put her hand on his shoulder. "Stop her how Gil?"

Gil rubbed his face in disgust. "Don't you see, by loving her, by being with her, people would think it was because of me she got where she did." Pausing, "I feel like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't."

"Listen Gil, I'm going out on a limb here, but work with me. By not letting either of you be happy, you ARE ruining her career and yours for that matter. Personally, you both are clearly happier together, right? Just go for it, you don't have to write it on the bathroom wall and people don't have to know." Standing up, Catherine felt like her part was done it was now up to him.

"Good luck Gil, now get up and get in the game. Sara is over talking to Nick and Warrick. Not that I really had to tell you where she was, you haven't been able to keep you eyes off of her all night."

Knowing it was now or never, hiding behind his 3 beers he decided to make his move. He made his way over to the group taking his place next to Sara.

"Hi Gil, where have you been all night?"

"Eating too much, drinking too much, and talking to Catherine."

Nick laughed, "I need a few drinks before talking to Catherine too!"

"OUCH!" Nick turned to see it was Catherine who smacked him square in the arm. "What was that for?"

"Don't wine Nick, it doesn't suit you. Catherine bent down to talk to Molly. "Molly, do you want to help me with the cake?"

"COOL, thanks!" They walked off leaving Gil, Sara and Nick standing there.

Looking back and forth between the two, Nick decided to give Sara and Gil some time alone together.

"Having a good time Sara?" Gil asked, looking straight into her eyes.

"You know I am". Pausing briefly before continuing, "It's amazing how many things I missed this past year drowning myself by drinking. They say it takes hitting rock bottom before you can go up, and I think my near DUI did that. I never wanted to face that I needed to see a counselor, but it has really helped."

"Sara, will you some day talk to me about what makes Sara Sidle tick?" If at all possible, he moved closer and placed his arm on her shoulder.

Amazed how comfortable she felt, she decided to continue. "One thing I've learned is that for a long time I've been searching for a family of my own. Not a family in the traditional sense, but a place I belonged. Growing up in my house was hell. Living in a B & B meant people in and out of my life. My Step Father worked, drank and basically ignored us. If he did speak, it was to yell, although he saved most of that for Mom." Closing her eyes, she continued. "I still remember the first time I heard him hit her. That sound and her screams live with me every day. I could never understand why she didn't fight back."

"Oh Honey, no one should live with that." Not caring who was around, he took her in his arms and kissed her head. "You were just a kid Sara, you couldn't do anything."

"You know Gil; I never did ANYTHING to help her. I just hid and tried to stay out of his way. That is why I studied so much, why I graduated early and why I left and never looked back. When I came to Vegas I expected to walk right into _your_ family. I just expected it, even though I never earned it. I want to earn it now. You, Nick, Warrick, Catherine, Brass and Greg, I want to be your family. Having Catherine invite me here, spending the Day and the Zoo with you and Molly, talking to Nick all night about his latest breakup, makes me finally feel like I'm part of something." Sara still was tightly wrapped in his arms, as she felt her tears starting to fall.

"Sara, you are a part of our family, and you have always been a part of mine. I'm just sorry I made you doubt that. You and I are such similar creatures, closing up to protect ourselves. The last year or two has been so lonely; please tell me we will never go there again, Ok?"

He loosed his grip on her to be able to see her face. Slowly he placed his hand under her chin lifting her face to look at him, his thumbs wiping away the last of her tears.

"Sara, do you understand you have always been a part of me? Since the very first time I saw you, it was over. You irritate the hell out of me at times, but you are the only person whom I've ever cared this deeply about." Cupping her face now, his lips brushed her forehead gently, letting them linger while he got the encouragement up to continue. "Sara, there are so many things I don't know about you, and you me. I'd like to change that, but it has to slow, one step at a time?"

Sara wasn't sure if it was the alcohol talking or not, but she was willing to listen.

"I'd like that Gil." Sara said, breaking the moment of silence.

"Gris, Sara, cake time, and get over here' the two turned to hear Greg yelling at them.

Turning to leave, Sara was stopped by his hand on her arm.

"Left or right side?"

"Huh?" she said looking

"Do you sleep on the left or the right side of the bed?"

"Left. You?"

"Right."

"See, now I know more about you than I did at the beginning of the night."

With that, he was gone, leaving Sara to wonder what just happened. He never ceased to amaze her.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

**Healing and Beginnings -Chapter 8**

**Thank you to all of you who have taken the time to R &R. It means a lot. The next chapter will be up by Monday. The rating will go up to "R".**

Sara and Grissom had fallen into a comfortable routine. Sometimes they worked together, sometimes separate. Whatever the situation, it didn't really matter. What mattered to Sara is that Grissom had equally rotated the team around himself, carefully rotating who had lead and who had the infamous "perimeter." When Sara was given perimeter duty now, it didn't feel like a punishment, it was simply her turn.

Cavallo was quite pleased with Sara's work, and even rotated a day shift new hire to nights for Sara to train. Sara again started at step one to technically train the new CSI. Not dissimilar to herself, the new recruit was a Harvard Graduate. Actually they were very similar, and got along well. It wasn't until Greg mentioned how well they got along to Grissom did he feel any bit jealous of the young rookie taking up a good portion of Sara's time. But the jealousy was not at the same level as he had with Hank; it was a jealousy because he wanted to be spending the time with her. Almost sensing Grissom's feelings, Sara decided to seek some help from Grissom in training Mike, the new CSI.

With everyone treated as equals, the "Team" mentality had evolved into great group dynamics. Soon weekly breakfast turned into a few nights of drinks, dinners, and good times. Everyone was growing, and they all learned to open up and share more, but it was 15 minutes alone he spent with Sara each day that made his world.

The day after Lindsey's birthday, Sara stopped by Grissom's office at the end of her shift. After plopping down in the chair across from Grissom, they discussed her case. To an outsider, this would truly mean nothing more than an employee updated her supervisor. To Grissom and Sara, it was yet another factor to show the comfort level they now had with each other. Most times, they talked about nothing important, sometimes about an interesting case. But mostly, as they promised to each other that night, they started sharing even the slightest bit of personal information with the other. By no means was most of the information earth shattering, actually quite the contrary. Sara found out the Grissom didn't use dry cleaners because he liked to iron himself, it relaxed him. Grissom found out that Sara ate Cornflakes for breakfast. Each fact was nothing special, but collectively, they meant the world. They were going back to square one, and they both couldn't have been happier.

They both looked forward to the end of the day to be able to talk and share. What once were 15-minute chats were quickly becoming hour-long get to know you sessions. They knew Grissom's office wasn't the best place for this, but they both feared if they went somewhere outside of those "Safe" 4 walls, it would mean more, and they weren't ready for that, yet

It was nearing 8am, and after chatting for a few minutes about Sara training the new recruit, a comfortable lull overcame them. Sara thought about Grissom's feelings, and him appearing to be jealous of her time with Mike.

Looking up him, she decided to ask, "Griss, can you help me with something?

"Sure, what can I do for you Sara?" He spoke calmly, but squirmed in anticipation of her reply.

"Well, you know Mike, the Day shift rookie?"

Grissom nodded his curiosity now peaked.

"Well, I've been training him, and he is good, but I just feel like he is missing a bit of intuition. That is where I need your help. When I was teaching Greg, you were more involved, and you taught him about intuition. Do you think you could help again?" Pausing, she added, "I think we made a good team."

"Sure, sounds like a good idea. Just tell me he's not quite as annoying as Greggo, is he?" He chuckled.

Smiling back Sara couldn't help hide her smirk. "No, not _quite._ But you know those Harvard Grad's, they think they know everything."

Grissom laughing back, "Oh, I know about them Sara, Trust me!"

"Well, I'm off. I need to get some sleep before I pick Molly up." She chimed, "It's hard to believe I've known her for only 6 months. It seems like forever. I'm truly glad my counselor suggested it."

Kicking his feet onto his desk, he had the sudden need to tell her how happy he was that she was 'happy' again, but decided not to harp on the issue. "What are you and Molly doing today?"

"I'm not sure you'd believe me if I told you." She said trying to hide her smile.

Looking curiously at her, he decided to prod her more. "How about a hint?"

Always up for a challenge, she replied, "Every child has to learn how to do "this" before the age of 10, if not, their childhood is incomplete." She quipped, "And since I never did it as a child either, we will both learn."

Scratching his chin, Grissom was puzzled.

"Any guess Griss?" She couldn't help laugh at the stumped Grissom.

Deciding she didn't want him to think to hard, Sara decided to give in. "We are going fishing, at Lake Mead."

"Fishing, as in Billy Bass fishing?" He couldn't help laughing at the thought of Sara fishing.

Sara now stood, and crossed her arms. "Yes fishing, since every child should try Fishing before the age of 10, we are both going to try. I'm just a few years late!" She also added, "It is supposed to help reduce stress when you become one with the fish."

Putting his hand over his mouth to stifle his laugh, he mused, "The charm of fishing is that it is the pursuit of what is elusive but attainable, a perpetual series of occasions for hope"

Now Sara's curiosity was peeked. "Cite your source Griss!"

Not missing a beat, he muttered "John Buchan." Flashing her his smile, "Cite yours Ms. Sidle."

"_Field and Stream_." Pausing, she laughed again, "Nick left in the break room last week."

They both laughed so hard; Sara had to stand to breathe. When they calmed down, Griss had to ask.

"Sara, let me get this straight, you have never fished, and are going to teach someone else to fish?" He looked up at her with his eyes filled with sarcasm. 

"I'm a quick learner. I'm heading over to Walmart to pick up fishing poles. Maybe they have a 'How to' book."

"Sara, you cannot learn how to fish by reading a book in 4 hours, no matter how quick a study you are."

"Well, Molly thinks we are going fishing, so unless, You'd like to teach us, we are going to go at it alone." She held her breath waiting for an answer.

"I thought you'd never ask, what time are you picking me up?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sara decided to go home and get some sleep first, and shop later. To her surprise, she fell asleep instantly. When her alarm went off at one, she showered quickly and headed to get the supplies. She stopped at a deli first and picked up Sandwiches, soda, fruit and chips. Next stop landed her at Walmart and she picked up her and Molly fishing poles, as well as the appropriate 'tackle.' She hoped Grissom would help Molly would find worms, they disgusted her. With little time to spare, she made her way to Grissom's to pick him up.

Sara pulled up, and was barely out of the car when she saw Grissom walking towards her car. To say he looked adorable was an understatement. He had on Faded jeans, a black T-shirt and a tan vest. Sara was sure her mouth was hanging open with her eyes bugging out. It was a good thing she had sunglasses on.

"Hey you, all ready?" She asked as he approached trying not to make eye contact for fear he'd see her blushing at his site.

"Yes, pop the hatch, so I can put my pole and gear in the trunk." His attempt to sound casual was moot as his voice suddenly cracked while speaking to Sara.

Sara and Grissom arrived at the center to pick Molly up at exactly two. Grissom sat in the car while Sara went to get Molly to start their day of adventure. Sara walked in and was surprised that Molly wasn't there waiting for her so she went to find the director.

Finding her Sara asked, "Do you know where Molly is?"

The director took her glasses off looking a bit concerned. "Her father called and said Molly was "sick" and she wouldn't be coming."

Sara looked puzzled. "I just talked to her 2 hours ago and she certainly wasn't sick."

"Well, he said she was, so I have to believe him. He said she'd see you next week."

Not knowing what to think, Sara turned to leave. She could be sick, right? Molly would talk to her if things were getting bad at her house at least she hoped she would. Sara walked back to the car and saw Grissom standing outside waiting for her.

"Where is Molly?" he asked with a quizzical look on his face.

"She's sick, so says her father." Sara paused, "I mean...not that I don't trust him, but I _just _talked to her 2 hours ago, and she was fine. No, more than fine, she was ecstatic about going fishing."

Sensing what was on Sara's mind, Grissom tried to ease her concerns. "Kids get sick all the time, Hell, Catherine tells me Lindsey was fine one minute, and sick the next. Try not to think the worst." Grissom was worried too he just wouldn't tell Sara that.

Shaking her head, Sara agreed. _Should I see if he still wants to go? Alone with me?_

As if on cue, Grissom answered her questions. "No need to waste this great day and lunch, we should still go. I mean.. If you want to."

"You are right, sure, let's go. What was that again? About theCharm of fishing?" She sneered.

Giving her his best "Grissom Look", he recited it again. "The charm of fishing is that it is the pursuit of what is elusive but attainable, a perpetual series of occasions for hope"

He laughed. "You know Sara I can see some parallels between you and fishing."

"What is that?"

"Well, you are elusive ... and _I hope _still attainable." He said while never taken his eyes off the road in front of them.

Sara thought it was good they were stopped at a light when he made his bold statement, or she would have driven off the road.

"Well Griss, you will just have to find out.

Feeling content with her answer, Sara turned up the radio as they headed up to Lake Mead. It could be an interesting day she thought as she looked over to catch a glimpse of the man who could make it very interesting, or so she hoped!

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Healing and Beginnings Chapter 9 

Arriving at their destination, both Grissom and Sara felt nervous excitement over the day that lay ahead of them. It was the first time they were truly alone outside the office longer than an hour. There was no escaping if things did not turn out ok, except to get into a car along side of the other all the way back to Vegas.

The two jumped out of the car and fumbled with their gear and started out to find a good fishing spot. It was apparent to Sara that Grissom had been there before, so she let him take the lead. Sara put her sunglasses trying to hide her quick glances at Grissom. He looked good, damn good, and it was going to be a long day.

The spot they found was fairly secluded section of lake front under a big shade tree. The day was very warm and humid, which much have kept the crowds down as they found themselves with little company.

Sara was dripping sweat by the time they reached their spot, and after quickly dropping her bags, she decided to strip her T-shirt leaving her bikini top showing. She immediately felt more comfortable and cool, that is until she turned around to see Grissom starting at her with his mouth hanging down. Trying to brush it off, she asked him if he was hungry.

"Hmm? I'm sorry Sara, what did you say?" He looked everywhere except at her when he answered her.

"Griss, I asked if you were hungry." Her smile was evident at his awkwardness, but tried not to laugh.

"Lunch Griss... are you hungry for lunch?" It kept everything Sara had to not laugh at the man looking so intently at her. She wasn't sure how to read him this very second, but the look of confusion made her inwardly smile. _Confused Grissom? See how you like it!_

Grissom shook his head side to side to clear the vision, "Ah huh," was all he muttered, and that was barely coherent.

They sat down on the blanket, and Sara took lunch out. Two roasted veggie sandwiches, corn chips and waters. They ate in silence, each gathering steam for the rest of the day. Sara was the first to break the silence telling Grissom it was time for her fishing lesson.

Have gained his composure during their meal, Grissom jumped up and grabbed the fishing rear, all the while trying not to look at Sara standing there looking gorgeous as ever as the sun glistened off the water showing every curve on her.

"Ok, here we go. First you have to get you fishing pole and hook in your hand. We need to bait the hook so that we can attract the fish."

Sara carefully listened to him, but kept getting lost in his beautiful eyes. Between the sun and the ocean blue of his eyes, she was almost blinded. "Why do we need to use bait why don't we just use the hooks? If the fish are hungry enough, they should nibble at it, right?

"Well Sara, you always need bait. The fish aren't attracted to the ugly old hook, they need some attractive bait to lure them in." He said with his stoic face on.

"Well, what if the fish are attracted to the hook and don't need any of the bait, shouldn't we try that first?"

"My dear, they may think they are attracted by the hook, but trust me, it will get old and stale, and they will need more." He answered her but did not dare make eye contact with her. Suddenly innocent-fishing instructions turned into more.

Not letting this die, Sara countered, "Well, not all fish think alike Griss, but we can try it **_your_** way."

And so they did. Both now had their pole in the water, and they looked out at the still line. It was still quiet where they were, and they took in the silence listening to the sound of the birds splashing in the nearby water.

After a few minutes, Sara had to ask, "Now what? This is it?" She sneered at him. "No offense, but this is kind of boring, isn't it?"

"Sara, it is relaxing. The tranquil water is peaceful. The anticipation of catching the perfect fish should be thrill enough." He looked over at her just in time for her to give him a glance.

Deciding it was now or never, she could not resist. "Griss, I think I've had enough of this 'tranquil anticipation' already, the fish better bite soon, my patience is wearing thin."Before he could emote a response, Sara's lined started tugging. "Griss, something is biting the line. HELP!"

Putting his pole down, he reached over to help Sara. He grabbed her pole when he saw her losing control. "You have to reel the fish in slowly, to try not scare it away. You have to balance pulling the fish and letting it reel in on its own. You have to 'feel' it." He motioned to her, "Put your hands over mine."

Sara did, and together they battled the fish tugging at the line. After what seemed like forever, Griss pulled the fish out of the water. The lack of tension from the fish threw both Grissom and Sara back, and they fell on the sand. At this point, Sara began to laugh at the idea she had finally reeled in her catch.

Grissom rolled over to his side, looking straight into the eyes of Sara. "You did it Sara, you got your catch!" He paused, and then his next move startled both of them. The look of joy on Sara's face, the utter happiness that he hadn't seen in so long was evident. They were just two people lying on a blanket, at the beach, learning how to fish. At this moment they weren't Boss/Subordinate, and time didn't span 15 years between them, they were just a couple getting to know each other, and having fun. The sudden realization overcame his every fear, as he reached over and cupped Sara's Face.

"Sara," he huskily said, "I would love nothing better than to kiss you now, if that is ok." He didn't wait for her answer, but instead his lips met hers in the most tender of kisses. He closed his eyes, just soaking in everything. Her smell, her touch, oh, what she did to him. And his need become more urgent. He put his arms on her shoulders and pressed his lips firmer this time, and Sara met his every move. Their tongues met and danced around. They only stopped when they were both out of breath.

His arms engulfed her whole body into him. She was pressed tightly against his chest and she thought she had never felt anything more wonderful in her life. The rapid beating of his heart was all she heard, and the sound was music to her ears.

Grissom was the first to speak, "So Sara, was it worth all the anticipation?"


	10. Chapter 10

**Healing and Beginnings Chapter 10**

**_Sorry for the short Chapter 9, It actually was longer but got cut off. This chapter is much longer, I hope you enjoy! Thank you for reading and reviewing!_**

Like a ton of bricks, reality set it. _So Sara, was it worth the anticipation? _She wasn't sure how to answer him, but it was definitely hard to do while lying in his arms. Sara first attempt at speaking after they shared the wonderful kiss never left her lips as Grissom's lips once again came down upon her. This time the kiss was more tender than eager, but left them both speechless none the less. It was soon after that Sara let out a shrill that made both Grissom and Sara to jump from their current spots.

"AHHHHHHH, Grissom, what is that on my leg?" Sara screamed.

Grissom's look of confusion was quickly turned around when Sara explained what exactly was on her leg.

"Griss GET IT OFF MY LEG," she exclaimed again. Sensing Grissom was confused as to what was actually on her leg, she elaborated, "The fish, get it off!"

Jumping up, Grissom Grabbed the fishing line to get a handle on the fish that was flopping around on the back of Sara's legs.

"Griss, you have to put him back in the water. It was fun to catch him, but you **_can't_** harm him. Put him back, now!" Sara snarled at him with her hands on her hips. It was apparent she wasn't going to let down, even if it meant she had to do it herself. 

"Sara, you do not catch fish to put them back in the water. We can go eat it for dinner," He said with a straight face, knowing it would cause her to uproar.

"I will not eat that or any other fish, put it back now. You will not harm that fish in my presence, do you hear me Grissom?" By the tone in her voice, and the hand propped up on her hip, she meant business.

Not wanting the fight, Grissom carefully extracted the fish from the line, and threw him back in the water. "Sara, were you aware _before_ we fished that you actually take the fish home and eat them?" His eyes bored down on her, as he tilted his head to the side waiting for her answer. But he would have to wait a long time, because Sara would not budge on the subject, so Grissom decided it was best to drop it.

Grissom gathered up the fishing gear, and joined Sara who had already sat back down on the blanket. Sara took a book out and decided that pretending to read would be the best way to think back on the kiss they shared not long ago. She touched her lips and could still fill his soft lips on hers. She had to stop thinking this way, or she would jump the man who just sat down next to her, and she knew she wasn't ready for that, yet.

Sometime during their reading, Sara and Grissom fell asleep. Grissom stirred first, looking down at the beautiful figure curled up against him. Yes, it was not the ideal place or time to be waking up with Sara next to him, but damn, it felt good. The sun was on its way down, and it began to get cool so he turned and pulled Sara in tight against his body. He buried his head in her hair and closed his eyes. At this point in his life, nothing compared to what he had right now.

Sara woke with a smile on her face. Grissom, fishing, kiss! She opened her eyes with a start, "Grissom?"

"Good evening sweetheart," he said as he kissed her forehead. "We should get back, its getting dark."

Not wanting the day to end, she could only mutter a disappointed. "Ok."

"Sara, today was wonderful, I had a great time. I would love to do it again sometime. I mean it doesn't have to be fishing, but anything with you and me." _Damn Gil, who's over talking now?_

Sara liked the sound of it, but wasn't entirely sure she trusted him 100 yet, so she just smiled at him before deciding what to say.

"You only have to ask Griss, that's all you ever had to do," she shyly said, but it was important to her to get that across to him.

"Sara, I thought you said you'd start calling me Gil, how come you still aren't?" Not that it really bothered him, but he had hoped they were at more of a personal level now and she would._ If after making out like two crazed teenagers all afternoon wasn't personal, what was!_

"Honestly? I don't know. You have always been Griss, my Griss. It is just who you are to me. Does it bother you a lot?"

"No, it doesn't really bother me. I just wanted to make sure we were on the same level, no rules, no boss, just two _friends. _"Sara, am I your Griss?"

"If today was any indication, yes, you're my Griss. You always were, you just didn't realize it." She smiled up at him before wrapping her arms around him bringing him into a hug. "Trust me Griss, and it will be ok."

"Thank you Sara for not giving up on me. I'll do everything to win your trust back, if you will let me."

Pulling back, Sara grabbed his hand and started down the beach back to the car. "Come on, you have a lot to prove." She smiled and they walked the rest of the way in silence.

It was after 7 pm when they arrived back in Vegas, and Sara's mind suddenly retreated back to thinking about Molly. Not that she hoped she was really sick, but she wanted to make sure it wasn't more. Sara thought about calling her, but knew Molly had her phone number, and she would call if something was wrong.

Grissom looked over at Sara and saw the look of concern wash over her face. "You should call her, it would make you feel better Sara."

"Do you think it would be ok?" She asked but really didn't wait for his response. Sara pulled her cell from her bag, and threw it at Grissom. "Can you dial and put the head piece on for me?"

Grissom did, and searched for the number in Sara's phone directory. Of course, he was curious if his numbers had been preprogrammed in her phone, and went to the "G's" first. He smirked when he saw Grissom home, Grissom Office, and Grissom Cell all in a row, speed dial #1, #2 and #3. Funny, Sara was his 1,2,and 3 also. He easily found Molly's number and handed the ear piece to Sara.

The phone rang 3 times, and Rich answered. "Rich Hi, this is Sara Sidle, Molly's big sister. I wanted to see if she was ok." She asked, and held her breath waiting for his response.

"Hold on, I'll get her" was all Sara heard before the phone slammed down. Sara waited a good minute and she finally heard something.

"Sara?"

It was so hushed Sara wasn't sure she heard anything at all. "Molly, is that you, how are you?"

Sara heard sniffling on the phone. "I'm fine. I'm sorry I couldn't come today, but Daddy said I couldn't, he he he .. was mad at Mommy. He said I should be mad at her too, she wouldn't let me go." Molly's soft voice quivered as she spoke.

"Molly, is everything ok?" Sara was concerned now, and Grissom was looking at her with a worried face.

"Things are ok now, but before, I was sad. Mommy is sleeping now, so I'm just playing." Molly said softly. "Can you and Gil bring me fishing another time, I really wanted to go."

Sara could hear the sadness in her voice. "Of course Molly, we can do it again. Are you sure everything is ok. Do you need anything?"

There was a brief silence, and Sara heard Rich in the background. "Daddy said I have to go now, I'll see you next week, right?"

Before Sara could answer Rich said good night to them, and hung up the phone. She turned to Griss and explained what had happened.

"Sara, where do they live, do you want to drive by?" He asked, concerned written on his face also.

"They live in Henderson, on Magee Avenue, but no, I do not think that is a good idea. We don't want to give Rich anything to get mad at."

Grissom nodded, but in the back of his mind, he didn't like it. He hoped Molly would call if something was wrong. He would keep his phone and call on all night and right next to his bed. He'd be there if either Sara or Molly needed him. Both Sara and Molly had been there for him, Sara countless times, and Molly was the one who told him he needed a family. From that day he met her on the beach in Hawaii, he knew what he wanted, and she was now sitting next to him He would do anything to truly be with her, forever if she let him, and it took the innocent voice of a 6 year old to help him make sense of what his life had become.

When they arrived at Grissom's house, Sara turned the car off. The moment was awkward but the silence was welcome. The silence spoke a million words, words they were afraid to say aloud. Grissom broke the silence by asking Sara if she wanted to come in and grab a bite to eat.

"Sure, but not too long, I'm kind of tired seeing I didn't sleep great this morning." She answered trying to hide her happiness.

Whatever awkwardness was there was quickly dismissed when they walked up to Grissom's townhouse. Grissom silently thought to himself this is nice, very nice.

Grissom threw his gear next to the front door and turned on the lights. Sara looked around, everything was still the same, but she walked over to one of the Butterfly cases to calm down. She was alone with Grissom in his home and they had no work to rush off to, just time.

"What are you hungry for Sara? I'd say we could have grilled fish, but darn, I'm fresh out." Grissom's amusement was evident by the smirk he flashed at Sara.

"Grissom, I cannot catch a fish, look him in the eye, and eat him." She deadpanned, it just won't happen.

Grissom looked over at her. "Great, by helping me with an experiment with a pig I turned you into a vegetarian. Now, by going fishing, you won't eat fish." He sat down. "Tell me, what can I cook for you that won't turn you off of all food?"

She turned around and laughed at his humor. He was being funny, who knew he had it in him. This day was full of surprises.

"Tell you the truth, I'd kill for a pizza. Do you have a good take out around here?" She wanted simple, more time to spend together. Quite honestly she didn't know how long she could keep her eyes open.

Grissom rose, and went to the kitchen and ordered the pizza. He walked back into the living room in time for Sara to hear the end of the conversation.

"Yes, I'll have one plain vegetarian fish free pizza.. Ok, thanks" Grissom smiled at Sara, and then put the phone down.

Sara stood and just looked at him. Was he for real? After he hung up the phone she punched his arm. "Are you mocking me Grissom?" She playfully asked him.

He laughed at her. "No, I am just laughing with you, I already ordered the pizza, I was just joking with you."

She reached out and mischievously pushed him back onto the coach. "You are SO going to pay for that."

"Somehow, I think I'll like paybaa...."

But before he could finish his sentence Sara, who was kneeling in front of him, was kissing him fiercely. She started with a deep passionate kiss on his mouth that then trailed to his ear and down his neck. He moaned in Sara's ear when she opened the top of his shit and kissed is collar bone. Sara was very aware of what she was doing to him but was pleasantly surprised at his bulge she felt pressing into her leg.

He was going insane. Sara was practically lying on top of him kissing him, and he wasn't sure how long he would be able to keep his hands off of her. He reached up and took Sara's face in his hands. He looked deeply into her eyes. "Sara, is this for real?"

She answered him with a tender kiss. She made her way over to his ear and whispered, "In all of my life nothing has ever felt more real to me than this. I only hope you agree."

He pulled her in for a hug. They were now lying on their sides looking into each other's eyes. "Sara, for the past eight years you have been it for me. My life has always been missing you Sara, you complete me, and lying here in your arms I truly feel at home."

They sealed their promise with passionate kisses. Frantically their hands roamed over each other's body. Grissom stopped, and looked up at Sara. "Sara, are you sure this is what you want? Because if we continue this, I'm not going to be able to stop anytime soon."

"Grissom, if you stop now, I'll kill you!" She playfully spat out.

Grissom picked her up and started to carry her to the bedroom, but was interrupted by the doorbell. They both looked at each other "Pizza?"

Grissom put Sara down and quickly paid for the pizza. Sara made her way to the kitchen but turned around when Grissom asked her where she was going.

"I'm getting plates, I'm hungry." She simply stated.

Grissom looked confused. In his mind the pizza could wait, where they were headed was much more important. "Couldn't we eat _after_ Sara? We _were _in the middle of something."

"Grissom we have waited eight years to get to this point, what is another 15 minutes, I'm starving. Besides, once I start to get going, it may be a while. I have a lot planned for you, so eat up big boy, you WILL need the energy." Sara turned before she could judge his reaction.

Grissom stood there, stunned. But it was a good stunned, one that had the potential to be amazing!

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

Healing and Beginnings Chapter 11 

**The rating is being moved up to "R" for sex and graphic situations.**

They ate in silence, which was a relief to Grissom, he needed a few minutes to think about what was about to happen. He managed to eat two slices of pizza, but couldn't tell you about even one bite. Eight years of buildup; heartache, love, yearning and desire, and soon they would be together. The expectation was almost overwhelming to Grissom, that is, until he looked at the beautiful woman seated across from him at his breakfast table. _What is she thinking about? Can I be enough for her? Will she care about me tomorrow? Who really knows, but I have to give her my all tonight. Let's just hope that is good enough_.

Grissom cleared the table of their plates and went back to where Sara was sitting. He walked over to her and lightly took her hand. He gently pulled her to a standing position. He looked deeply into her eyes, "Sara, are you ok with this? I don't want to rush you, but I need to show you how much I care for you."

"Show me what Griss?" She asked in her seductive voice.

He pulled her in for a hug. "Come, follow me."

Grissom stopped at the doorway to his bedroom. He closed his eyes and turned towards Sara.

"I hope any expectations you have about me being your powerful boss is left at this door, because as of now, I'm just a man. A man who hasn't made love to a woman in two years without it being fantasy, and this is real. I've um.. also never made love to a woman I was in love with before."

Grissom looked into Sara's Eyes to sense her reaction. Her face was soft, and the light from the bedroom softened her delicate face even more. She swallowed hard before speaking, while walking them over to the edge of the bed.

"Griss, I hope I don't scare you with what I am about to say, but I need to anyway. I have loved you for as long as I can remember. I can't even remember a time when you weren't in my thoughts, even before we met, and then, you were always the man of my dreams. I love you, I love the way your hair gets all curly when you sweat. I love how you furrow your eyebrows when you are in deep thought. The way you roll up your sleeves when you are getting ready to work drives me insane; I'm embarrassed to say I've had a lot of _nice_ dreams about your forearms. But mostly, when you want, you can be so sweet and caring and that is all I want from you. I know it is hard for you to tell me, so Gil, show me how you feel." She barely finished before Grissom turned and captured her in his arms.

"Sara, let me love you, all of you, now." His lips ravished hers in deep sensual kisses. He kissed her face, down her neck, back up to her ear lobe, and it was slowly driving Sara insane. "Griss, I need you in me now." Her urgency was building and if he didn't' get past kissing her she was going to have to take matters into her own hands.

She reached for his shirt and started unbuttoning it one button at a time. A few months ago their relationship was one day at a time, but now, this next step would bring them to a lifetime. A lifetime of wants and needs all coming together on this day. Grissom's shirt fell on the bed, and Sara pushed it out of the way. His chest was smooth and hard, and as Sara ran her hands over each inch of his chest, Grissom gasped at her touch. The need to feel his skin on hers was great, as she discarded her top joining his on the floor. 

When Sara removed her top, Grissom leaned back in awe. Before him was what he believed to be the most beautiful sight, Sara, and she was alone with him on his bed. Twenty Seconds. That is how long it took him to remember to breathe again when he saw her sitting before him naked.

Coming to his senses, his manly needs took over, and his kissing that was once sensual, were now full of need and desire. He kissed her and touched her and was making love to each inch of her body. He pulled her shorts off, and all that lay between them was her lacy underwear and his pants, but those quickly got thrown aside like an old rag.

His kisses that were concentrated on her collar bone were now straying down towards her chest, and the sensational feeling of his lips on her body was causing Sara to cry out his name, and that only fueled him further. Once he ignited her chest, he traveled down towards her sweet folds. The anticipation alone pushed Sara closer and closer to her orgasm, but as his lips touched her most sensitive area she was thrown into oblivion. "G r i s s o m, Oh, Don't stop, yes," she cried out. When he felt her relax again, he pulled her in for a hug having the need to be as close to her as possible. 

Sara started kissing him and wanted to reciprocate the amazing feeling he just gave her. She started kissing his chest, and ran her hand down his sides. He was shuttering at her touch. That is until she touched his most private part, when he almost jumped off the bed. Sara was clearly taken aback, and took his fear for rejection. He saw her confusion and tried to explain.

"Sara, I'm not 15 any longer ," he paused, "that coupled with the fact that it has been an eternity that a woman has actually aroused me to this level, if you had touched me again right now I'd be finished, literally, and tomorrow would be a long wait for us to 'finish' what we started. Just give me a second, ok?" _Maggots, Cockroaches, decompositions.... Z Y X W V U T ...I'm ok now.. I won't embarrass myself._

Looking back towards Sara, he met her gaze. They sat that for a moment, each not knowing how to proceed. It was Grissom who reached out. "Sara, you are so beautiful, you know that, don't you?" It came out more as a statement than a question. Their lips met again deeply, passionately, and they joined in unison, and it was everything they hoped it would be. Grissom surprised himself on how long he could hold out, and brought Sara to 2 more orgasms before he let himself go. His whole body shuttered upon his release, and they were both gasping for air at the end.

When their adrenaline finally calmed down, they laid in each other's arms, no need for talking. Grissom was stroking Sara's hair pressing his lips into her hair.

"Sara, I sorry this took so long, I um.. hope you enjoyed it." He closed his eyes not wanting the moment to end."

"Griss, there is nothing better in this world that making love to the man of your dream's, especially since I know now my love is reciprocated." Her words were muffled because her head was pressed against his chest.

He had to make her believe. "It always has been Sara. I just didn't love or trust myself enough to let you know. For that, I am sorry. I'd like nothing more than to forget the past and offer you the future."

"A future with you? Hmm. I'll have to think about it. But I do like the present." She lifted her head again and lay on top of him, trying to rekindle the '15 year old' inside of him.

"You know what they say Sidle, there is nothing like the present"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After a wonderful day of making love, Sara drove home to get ready for work. Stepping into her apartment was almost surreal. So many things had changed in the past 24 hours, hell, in the past year. Walking past her answering machine and caller ID, Sara checked for calls. One call from Nick, one from a telemarketer, and four calls from Molly. She quickly checked the answering machine only to find no messages. She reached down for her cell phone, and was surprised to see it was shut off, no messages either. Wondering if she should call Molly, she decided four calls warrant a call back. She rang the number only to have it ring non stop. Trying to bite back the worry, Sara hoped into the shower and went to work.

Grissom couldn't stop smiling. Why had he held back on these year's. Trying not to worry about the past, he thought of the future. Things at work were going well for Sara, and he didn't want to ruin that. Sara was reporting into Cavallo with her training duties. Maybe he should talk to Robert and be honest. Maybe Sara could report totally into him. His mind was racing now, but it quickly slowed when he reminisced about last night. Snapping his head back to reality, he collected together the assignments, one push in robbery, one trick roll, and one db.

Grissom made his way down to the break-room to hand out the assignments. He walked in and saw the gang was all there. He tried not to make eye contact with Sara, but that didn't help his cheeks flush.

Nick and Warrick were talking about the baseball playoffs, while Sara, Catherine and Greg were talking about a new print lifting machine.

Grissom cleared his throat before speaking. "Warrick & Catherine you have a push in robbery. Before you get all huffy, the home owners are claiming well over a million in cash was stolen."

"Sara, you and Nick have a DB in Henderson. Greg, you are with me, we have a roll call." They were just about to leave when Brass walked in.

The look of concern on his face was evident. "Gil, may I speak to you outside."

The nightshift looked concerned, but went back to getting ready to roll out. It was then when Sara asked Nick the address to their DB. "Nick, where are we heading to, since **_I'm_** driving?"

Nick read over the assignment sheet. "118 Magee Avenue, Henderson."

It only took a split second before Sara heard what he said, and when it registered you could hear her scream through the entire building.

Grissom had just finished his chat with Brass. Brass explained to him that Miranda, Molly's mother, had been brutally murdered, although the job that did her in was nothing compared to what appeared to have been happening to her for weeks. The thought of it made Grissom sick, and he turned to punch the wall. "What about Molly? Where is she Jim? Is she de ?" He couldn't even finish what he was asking Jim when they both heard Sara's scream.

Jim and Grissom made their way back into the break-room to see Sara in Nick's arms. Sara was openly weeping and the rest of the crew had no idea what was going on. They turned to Grissom as he walked in and asked for an explanation, but he did not want to speak about it before he had all of the information, so he decided to give them the basics.

"The DB is the mother of the girl Sara has been mentoring. She knew that he was hurting her, but Sara couldn't convince her to press charges. He had already spent years in jail for attempting to kill her in the past." His voice was stoic, but crackling on the inside.

Catherine was the first to speak. "What about Molly? Is she ok?"

Brass cut in. "She wasn't found at the scene, but neither was Rich the scumbag husband. There is a lot of blood, we need to get it tested and see.." His voice trailed off when he saw the look Sara was giving him.

Grissom spoke up again, wanting to get started at the scene, and he wanted to get Sara alone and comfort her properly. "OK, this is the only scene in Vegas tonight," he barked, and turned to Brass. "Call in day shift and give them the rest, I want **_my_** CSI's on this case. I don't want any other shift touching it."

"Warrick, Catherine, take Greg and get over there. Collect samples and Greg, get back to this lab ASAP and test them. Catherine, I need you to examine the blood splatter. Jim said there are 2 areas to analyze.

"Nick work with Jim and get an APB issued as well as an Amber Alert. You can get a picture of Molly at the scene." Grissom turned now to face Sara, "Sara, you are with me. I'd like to speak to you for a minute, and then we can head to the scene. We will work the body."

Sara's eyes were cold when she spoke. "NO, I will go with Jim, I know what they look like, and I can give a better description of Molly." She wiped her face and walked to Brass. "Let's go."

Grissom stood confused. Surely Sara needed his comfort right now as much as he needed hers. Brass and Nick saw the looks exchanged between Grissom and Sara, and decided to give them a few minutes to talk.

Once alone, Grissom tried to take Sara into his arms. She stood there ice cold. "Sara," he looked at her. "We will find her, I promise."

"No Grissom, don't touch me, don't make promises to me." Her words were harsh and cut right through him. _What is going on?_

"When I got home tonight, I saw that Molly called me multiple times. I was with you all day. If I hadn't been, nothing would have happened to her. This is my fault, every time I try and be happy something bad happens. If I wasn't with you, maybe I could have stopped it. If something happened to Molly I'll".. She stopped and pulled back. "Just don't touch me, I don't deserve happiness, I just ruin other people's lives."

Before Grissom could respond, she was out the door. "Jim, let's go, now."

TBC - Please Review.. its cheap and easy, and kind of makes my day!


	12. Chapter 12

**Healing and Beginnings Chapter 12**

**Thanks for all kind reviews, they are really appreciated!**

Sara and Jim made there way to his office, but made a stop off at the locker room so that Sara could a picture of Molly she had taken at the Zoo. They would need it for the Amber Alert. Jim opened his office door and let Sara walk through, and followed closing the door.

"Sara, I know this comes to you as a shock, how are you going to handle this?" Jim asked as he took a seat.

Sara just looked at him trying to gather her thoughts. "If you are asking if I am going to run out and get drunk the answer is NO. I just want to find Molly. Can we get to work now?"

Jim ran the picture of Molly and placed the Amber alert out nationwide. He then put the APB out on Rich. It was unlikely they got far, but until the scene was analyzed, Jim was skeptical on the outcome.

When Grissom and team walked up the crime scene they were faced with two young cops who were clearly shaken at what they faced inside. When they were almost at the door, Detective Vartan was on his way out. He stopped when he saw who was approaching.

Vartan's eye's met with Grissom as he began to speak. "Guys, be prepared before you go in there. There is so much blood, although by the looks at the wounds on the victim, I doubt she was alive when she had her throat slashed. The cut is almost through and through. Someone really must have hated her."

Catherine looked at Grissom as listed to the detective. He was clearly shaken which was visible by the veins protruding from his neck and the grinding of his teeth.

"Alex, do you have any sign of a child in there?" His face was all business as he spoke.

Vartan clearly looked confused and wasn't aware a child lived in the residence. "There is no evidence that I can see of any other person in there. Quite frankly, I cannot imagine a child living in there."

Not knowing fully what he meant, Grissom, Catherine and Warrick proceeded into the house. The house was a gorgeous house, filled with beautiful antiques, although with the current state of the house it was hard to tell. Tables were turned upside down, there were vases and broken pictures everywhere, and there was blood, lots of blood.

The group silently looked. It is not that they hadn't seen this before, but they all were fully aware of the connection the victim had to Sara. They continued there walk through and found an obvious area of struggle. There was blood splatter on the wall and shared glass on the floor. The splatter had an obvious void in it, but they couldn't tell what it was. Grissom informed Catherine that she needed to analyze the blood ASAP. The remainder of the group continued the walk through.

When they reached the body they were all visible shaken. It was hard to tell that the body that lay before them was human, no less a beautiful woman. It was hard to tell what new injuries were and what were old. The purple and blue hues that covered her body were enough to make Grissom cringe.  
  
"David, are you done here?" Grissom asked without taking his eyes off the victim.

"Yes Sir." David spoke and then exited quickly.

Grissom knelt down and began to look at the body. It was a full five minutes of examination before he spoke again. "I can't even begin to think which of these injuries actually caused her death. By the looks at the bat over there, she took several blows to her head and back." He then reached down to pick something off the ground.

Warrick asked "What is that Griss?"

He didn't flinch; he just examined the object he found on the floor. He turned to Warrick and asked for an evidence bag and proceeded to place the tooth in the bag. Grissom knelt back down and opened her mouth. "Warrick, see if you can find the other 3 teeth she is missing."

Before he could answer, Grissom walked out of the house. By the look on his face, no one said a word. They knew when Grissom had that look, stay away. It was exactly that when the young police officers who were guarding the scene did when they witnessed Grissom violently losing his lunch on the side of the house.

When Grissom walked backed to the house Catherine was waiting at the door. "You ok Gil?"

He nodded. They both turned when they saw Brass and Sara drive up to the scene.

"Gil, do you think it's a good idea for Sara to be here?" Catherine's concern was evident as she spoke.

Grissom closed his eyes, "No - . But If I try and stop her, it will make it worse."

Sara and Brass walked over to meet Grissom and Brass. "Jim, did you get the APB out?" Grissom asked.

"Yes, all out. Amber alert is activated in Vegas and surrounding area's."

Grissom tried to make eye contact with Sara, who eyes were looking into the house. She turned and looked to Catherine. "Tell me about our Vic." Sara asked almost robotically.

The way she said "Vic" almost suggested she was referring to a stranger, not someone she knew. This worried Grissom as he couldn't get a handle on how she was feeling.

Catherine knew that she needed to step up here, as it was apparent that both Grissom and Sara where struggling their own demons here.

"Gil, come look at this splatter again." Catherine spoke to Grissom, but they all followed. She started to explain the void. "Do you see how the blood forms an arch? She was probably on her knees when she got hit, maybe bending down." She continued to study the blood. "Wait," she bent down to see the lower part of the wall. "There looks to be 2 voids, almost on top of each other."

"Oh God-"Catherine spoke, but her voice was beginning to crack. "Don't you see she was a Mom."

They all looked at her with confusion.

Catherine closed her eyes and began to speak. "Maybe he was going after Molly. This void shows me that the Vic was hunched over, probably protecting her child. She loved her daughter, every Mother would sacrifice anything for their child, even if it meant with their life."

That statement was all she needed, Sara ran from the house. She couldn't bear to hear what happened to Miranda, and she couldn't think that Molly was hurt.

Grissom looked as if he was going to follow Sara out, but Nick stopped him. "Griss, give her a minute. You know how Sara is, she needs to blow off some steam, and she will be back in."

Grissom nodded, and continued his business. He turned to Brass. "Take a piece of clothing from Molly's room, and order in the blood hounds. I want to make sure he didn't leave her somewhere."

Brass turned and gave the orders into his walkie talkie. He looked back at Gil. "Gil, don't get your hopes up. You know what happens in most of these situations."

Grissom's eyes looked raged. He approached Jim and took him by the shirt collars. "Look, we have no evidence that Molly is hurt. We only are positive she isn't here. Do your job and find her." He finished speaking and let Jim go.

The house was silent and no one dared to speak. They finished collecting evidence and they were ready to leave. David took the body back to the lab for further examination. Brass had Nick running with the blood hounds, and Catherine and Warrick brought the evidence back to the lab, leaving only Grissom and Sara

Grissom sought out Sara and found her sitting outside on the porch. She had her legs tucked up to her chest and her head down. He sat down next to her and put his hand on her leg. The touch made Sara jump, and her eyes shot daggers at him.

"Sara, this is not your fault. It's the system, we've seen this so many times," he paused, "Will you look at me, please?" He said while trying to pull Sara into his arms, but her tense body was not welcoming him.

Sara slowly lifted her head and looked at the man before her. The man, whom she has loved, hated, desired and now needed, and the thought was frightening to her. "We need to get out there, and find her. I owe it to her. She needed me and I wasn't there Griss, how can I live with that?"

"Sara, please.-" but he was cut off before he could finish. Sara jumped and walked towards the truck.

Grissom decided giving her space right now was probably best, so joined her in the truck and they headed off to the lab. Before walking into the doors Grissom stopped her. "Sara, you cannot handle any evidence, you know that right? For that matter, I shouldn't either we are too close to her. We can help to find Rich and Molly, so why don't we work with Jim and follow leads, ok?"

Expecting a fight, he was surprised when she agreed. "I'll meet you at Jim's; I just need to go to my locker." Her tone was emotion-less, and it frightened Grissom. He was waiting for her to blow, and he hoped would be there for her.

They met up in Jim's office 20 minutes later. "Gil, Sara, sit down." Brass looked as tired as he felt.

"What do you have for us Jim?"

"Right now we have to sit and wait. We have done all we can do. We have all his credit cards and bank accounts being monitored. If he uses anything, we will find him. He didn't use take his car, and your boys found his wallet, so it's only a matter of time, we'll find them." As Brass finished, his cell phone rang."

Jim flipped open his phone, "Brass."

When he finished he turned to Grissom and Sara. "I've got to go, a break in another case. If anything comes in, I'll page you immediately." He barely finished as he walked out the door leaving the two CSI's seated in his office, alone.

The two sat there I silence, and it was Sara who broke the silence. "I just feel so helpless Griss. I mean I know deep down it probably wouldn't have mattered if she was home", but the 'what if' was enough to drive her right back to the bottle.

Grissom couldn't take it anymore, he pulled Sara into him. He needed her as much as she him right now. He kept his face buried in her hair and stroked her hair. "It will be ok Sara, please let me help you." He said it over and over again as they held each other in Jim's office, it was becoming his mantra.

He felt her finally relax, and pulled back to see her. Her face was riddled with tears, but her crying had subsided. "I'm sorry Grissom, for before. It's just –" she stopped and put her head down again.

"Griss, for the past 3 years my life had been in a tail spin. The lab explosion, the promotion, the DWI and then I finally take a break, and I'm finally putting the pieces back together. I'm not drinking, I'm moving ahead at work, I found my diversion, and I found you. Every time I take 2 steps forward, I get blown back a mile. I feel like I can never get ahead." She paused, trying to get the energy to continue.

"I met Molly, and it has been wonderful. I have something to look forward to and I feel like I've given her some joy too, and now this. If something happens to her I truly don't know if I can handle it Griss."

"Sara, the difference is now I'll be there with you, every step of the way. You know that don't you? I am done running, what happens to you happens to both of us. Sara, I love you, good times and bad. Let me help you Sara, please." Grissom's words were barely more than a whisper, but he hoped they were loud and clear in her mind.

Before he could answer Brass was back at the door.

"Grab your kits, we have a lead." He didn't miss a beat as he picked up his coat and the three of them walked to the door.

"Jim, what do you have?" Grissom needed to be prepared on where they were going.

"There was a possible sighting at a hotel outside of town. Other guests heard some struggle so the hotel manager tried to calm them down, but when he got to the room the guy was gone, but the room was trashed. That is all I have."

They drove in silence for a half hour and arrived at the hotel. They spoke to the manager and he briefed them on what he knew. Sara took the photos of Rich and Molly and showed them to the witnesses who had seen them. They agreed it was who they had seen, and for the first time all night Sara had hope. That is until she walked into the hotel room. The site before her frightened her to the core. Every piece of furniture was turned up-side-down. It was ransacked, and there was no site of two they were looking for.

Grissom felt he needed to remind Sara to not touch anything, but when he looked at her, she stood there paralyzed, he knew it wasn't necessary. He walked over to her and rubbed his hand along her arm in an attempt to sooth her.

No words were needed; she could feel the strength of his fingers on her arm. She closed her eyes and tried to get her thoughts straight, and then it hit her, she remember what Molly told her she did when her parents fought. Sara quickly ran through the room to find the closet. She found it and stood outside waiting for Grissom to catch up to her.

"What is it Sara?" He asked showing his concern.

"Molly told me when her parents would fight her Mom would make her a bed in the closet so that **_he_** wouldn't find her," she paused, "Please open this Griss."

Grissom slowly opened the door and the silence was broken when Sara exclaimed, "MOLLY?"

**TBC**

**Be kind, please review! Sorry about the cliffhanger, it was a logical place to cut the chapter.**

**The remaining 2 chapters are written, and being reviewed.**


	13. Chapter 13

The team looked down to see a pillow and a blanket, but no Molly. She had been there, the key word being _had. _Everyone's eyes focused on Sara, who stood there in shock. Sara was too late, again. Somehow it seemed like her mantra of late.

No words escaped Sara's lips as she slowly backed away from the closet and let the rest of the team process the closet. They found no blood at all in the hotel room, which was excellent news. Sara needed some facade of hope, even how small it was.

The hotel yielded them little clues as to where Rich was going or where he had been. They were back to square one and decided to head back to the lab. Grissom told the crew to go home and get some sleep, and let the police do their jobs. If Brass or anyone else had news, they could page them ASAP.

Grissom walked to the break-room to grab some coffee. Although he dismissed his team, he had to catch up on paperwork and planned to get his sleep on is couch in his office. . He also wanted to be quickly available if they had a break or lead. When he walked into the break room he found Sara curled up in a fetal position on the couch. He should have realized she wasn't going to go home. He stood in a daze looking at the beautiful being lying before him only to have it broken by the sound of Ecklie and the day shift crew coming towards them. He reached down and gently shook Sara. "Sara, come on, wake up."

Sara jumped up and looked confused. "What?" "Any news Grissom?"

His heart was breaking for her, "no, I just wanted to move you to my office so that the day shift can use the break room."

"It's ok, I don't need anymore sleep, and I need to do something to find her –."

"Sara you are going to be no good dead on your feet, come with me." He put his hand on the small of her back and led her to his office. When they arrived he pulled the blinds on his door and dimmed the lights.

"Lay down Sara, I promise I'll wake you if we get news," Grissom spoke to her gently while caressing her face. "Is there anything I can get you? Do for you Sara?"

Sara just shook her head back and forth and made her way over to the couch. She tried to doze back to sleep, but she was too restless with her racing mind. Finally she had something to care about in her life, something outside work, and now, her work and life collided.

Grissom sat at his desk in an attempt to get some paperwork done. Who was he kidding, he couldn't do any work. He looked over at Sara and saw how restless she was. A moment later she was crying out for Molly, and for him. He took his glasses off and sat next to her on the couch. She put her head in his lap and gently stroked her hair. He could feel her relax almost instantly. _Sleep my love, let's see what tomorrow brings. _He pushed his head back and too drifted off.

Catherine met up with Greg and Nick while walking into the crime lab. When they arrived at the locker room they noticed Warrick was already in, but no one had seen Grissom or Sara. The group gathered in the break room and met up with Brass.

"Any word Jim?" Catherine asked although she knew the response. If someone wanted to get lost in Vegas, it was easy.

"Nothing at all," he paused turning to Greg, "anything on the lab front?"

He shook his head. "No, but I am looking at some possible connections. I'll let you know."

"Has anyone seen Grissom or Sara yet?"

They look around the room at each other and then all eyes landed on Catherine. "I haven't seen them, but I'll go and check Gil's office."

Walking towards the office Catherine noticed the blinds were drawn. _He must be sleeping, should I wake him?_ She knew what she had to do and proceeded to knock lightly on the door. She then pushed it open and saw Sara curled up in Grissom's lap, almost like a mother bird protecting her young. Grissom was protecting Sara, at least what he could at this stage. Almost simultaneously they looked up and saw Catherine. Once they realized where they were and with whom, they jumped up.

Grissom made eye contact with Catherine. "Anything new?"

"No, just wanted to see if you were going to hand out assignments. It's getting late. Do you want me to do it?"

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes he answered, "No, just give us a few minutes."

Sara glanced down at her watch, hardly believing they had slept 6 hours. She looked over curiously at Grissom. How did he get on the couch with her?

Sensing what she was thinking Grissom decided to explain. "Sara, you were having a bad dream, I was trying to calm you down. I was tired too and I guess I fell asleep."

"Thank you Griss," Sara shyly stated, "I slept well, you make me feel safe-."

He reached over and pulled her in for a hug. Even if it was only for a brief few seconds she forgot about what happened the last few days and allowed her to relax in the warmth of his embrace.

The two parted ways as Sara went to take a shower and Grissom went to see what new cases they had that evening. There was a gang shoot out downtown resulting in multiple homicides. The crime scene was spread over a mile and the whole nightshift would be needed, almost better to keep busy Grissom reflected.

Even after Grissom told the anxious crew about their new assignments they all stayed seated. It was a silent way of seeking out information, as no one wanted to ask if they had anything new on Molly. It was Nick who finally broke the ice.

"Griss, is there anything we can do? We've been discussing things, and when shift is over we would like to get out there and help find Molly," he asked while looking deep into his bosses eyes trying to read his emotions. He knew Grissom wasn't a man of emotions, but the icy look in his eyes gave away how much he cared.

Grissom answered with the same calm tone they had been used to, but the shaky-ness of his voice was enough for them to understand the hurt in him. "Thanks guys, we'll let you know. I'm waiting to hear from Brass, so let's just wait and see."

Greg, who had been quiet during the whole time, was trying to get up the nerve to offer up an idea. His 'rookie status' has changed his usual confident demeanor and replaced it with apprehension. Contemplation didn't last long as he saw Sara's face when she joined them in the break room. It was filled with sorrow and pain, and it helped Greg realize that even how inexperienced he was at being a CSI, it only took one lead to break open a case. So he decided to go for it.

"Um Griss, Can I talk to you a minute, alone?" Greg eyes wordlessly pleaded with Grissom.

"What is it Greg?"

"Well, you know about my Pappa Olaff? Well, when he was a kid he and his friends liked to play stick ball. They played every day and sometimes they lost the ball and couldn't play."

"Greg, I'm not in the mood for this today," Grissom flatly stated. "Get on with it."

"Ok, Pappa Olaff and his friends tried to steal some balls to play with and got thrown in Jail for 6 months. When he got out he and his cell mate remained close friends, and are best friends even today."

"The point Greg? Is there a point?"

"Well, given we know Rich was in Jail, I surmised that maybe he became friendly with a cell mate. So I checked out the Department of Corrections Database and one of his cell mates also recently got out of Jail and is living on the outskirts of Vegas. I called the Pen they were in and seemed the two were real buds. Do you think it could mean something?" Greg's need for approval was outweighed by his desire to do anything to help out his mentor.

Grissom's eyes lit up. The kid had a point and it was a good one. "Greg, call Brass and have his team run some info on him. See if you can grab an officer to meet us there and we can have a chat with him, see if he knows anything."

Excitedly Greg answered with a question. "You mean I can go Griss?"

"Your idea, you lead the way. Just try and remain calm, and don't get Sara's hopes up." The two walked back into the break room to be met with 3 pairs of eyes glaring at them.

"Change of plans, Catherine, Nick and Warrick you run the Gang scene. Call in cadets if you need any legwork done. Sara, come with Greg and I and we will explain on the way."

Grissom's eyes caught up with Catherine's gaze and he knew she needed an answer or she wouldn't be going anywhere. He decided to answer her with enough information to keep her at bay, but not enough to get any hopes up. "Greg has a lead on a friend of Rich's living in the area; we are going to follow up on it."

Catherine seemed ok with the answer and the three grabbed their gear and headed out to the scene.

In less than an hour Grissom, Sara and Greg were headed to meet the ex-con and see what he knew. The ride was made in silence, although Sara and Grissom were speaking volumes. Everything Grissom wanted to say to Sara was being silently communicated through the strong hand he had holding her delicate one. He saw her glare looked glazed, so he gave her hand a squeeze. He felt she needed some hope, so he gently caressed her fingers. Greg sat in the back of the Tahoe and didn't dare make a comment on what he saw; he liked his job too much for that.

They arrived at their destination a little before 11, and were met by Jim Brass and a team of sharp shooters. Grissom was surprised at the show of force but left that up to his colleague to decide. "Thought I'd bring the pea shooters out incase we run into trouble. I did a bit more digging and checked with a few neighbors and from what I am hearing is that there has been a child matching Molly's description here."

Sara's eyes opened wide. She tried to remain calm but it was hard when she could now hear her ragged breathing. She turned to look at Grissom as he spoke.

"Sara, I need you to stay put. Let Jim and I handle this." He sensed her blood boiling, so he continued, "honey, please do this for me? No, do this for Molly."

She shook her head in concurrence, even if she didn't like it. Truthfully she wasn't sure her voice would even work right now.

Brass began flying orders to his team to get into position as he and Grissom walked to the door, but not before Grissom turned too see why Greg wasn't on his heels.

"Are you coming Greg? You earned this."

"Thanks Griss, but as much as I want to, I think I'm needed here right now," he looked at Sara and knew she needed a friend. "Besides, I _think_ you can handle it without me."

Grissom turned and met up with Brass. "Jim, tell me you have a warrant?"

Brass laughed. "How long have you known me? Relax Gil; I know what I'm doing."

After 4 fast knocks on the door Brass ordered the door to be "opened" With one good whack at the door it flew open.

"Las Vegas Police, we have a Warrant." Brass's authority would not be mistaken.

They weren't met with any guns or hostility. They were only met with the view of two men lying on opposite sides of the room sleeping, and Molly sitting on the floor playing with a Barbie doll.

It took a full thirty seconds for Grissom to react, but once he did he quickly picked Molly up in his arms and ran out of the house. He was outside and barely heard Brass and team arresting Rich and Mike.

When they were safe outside he put Molly down and knelt in front of her. "Are you ok Molly?" he continued, "Did he hurt you?"

"I'm ok Gil. But Daddy hurt Mommy. She wouldn't wake up. I tried and she wouldn't. Where is she? Molly barely finished when the situation finally caught up with her and she began to cry. Grissom wasn't sure he knew how to comfort a child, but surprised himself when he picked her up and held her swaying back and forth whispering in her hear that it would be ok.

Grissom turned to see Sara's eyes staring at him. Her lips were moving but no sound was coming out. He knew what she needed. She needed to make sure Molly was ok. He handed Molly off to Sara and the two hugged. Molly lifted her head up and wiped her tears away. She looked at Sara, "Sara, you don't have to cry, I'm ok."

Sara just held her more until she could feel her anxiety begin to diminish.

Grissom walked over and joined Greg who was taking in the whole situation.

"Grissom, is this why you do it? Why you love being a CSI?" Greg was having trouble keeping his emotions in check and didn't want to embarrass himself in front of Grissom.

The elder man turned and shook Greg's hand. "You did this; you thought outside the box and because of that Molly is ok. You are going to make a great CSI Greg, I hope it isn't condescending to say but 'I'm proud of you.'"

Greg couldn't control himself and hugged Grissom.

"Greg, you are squishing me, let go!" Grissom spoke to Greg but his attention was on Sara and Molly. They were now sitting on the front lawn talking. He never knew Sara to be comfortable around children before, but perhaps it just wasn't the right one. The thought warmed him inside.

They walked over and joined Sara and Molly. Greg had Molly laughing within minutes and as they got ready to leave a woman who had just arrived walked over to them."

"Hello, my name is Christine Mason, I'm from Social Services. I'm here to take Molly with me."

At first no one even flinched, that is until Sara got up the rage in her evident. "You are not taking Molly."

"Ma'am I'm afraid so, for now she will go to Foster Care until we find out if there was a Will."

Sara just shook her head and repeated "no" over and over. Brass interrupted and calmly spoke to the Social Services worker.

"Greg, can you take Molly to the car?" Brass continued. "Ms. Mason is it? This young lady has just witnessed her Mother's death and has been on the run with a murderer. The only place she is going is to the hospital **_with_** one of our CSI's. She needs to be processed and needs to see a shrink."

The woman looked at him and was going to speak, but Brass shot in again. "This is not a questions, it's an order."

The woman stormed off and drove away.

Brass turned to Grissom, "I don't know what you and the little lady have in store with Molly, but I bought you some time. She will be back, so find out what Molly wants."

Grissom looked to find Sara and Molly, and when he did he was met with his two favorite women sitting on the hood of his Tahoe sleeping. _What am I going to do with the two of you?_

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

**Healing and Beginnings – Chapter 14**

**One more chapter to go! Thanks to Rica for being my Beta. **

_What am I going to do with the two of you? _

Grissom wasn't sure what was going on with him and Sara right now any better than he did a year ago. What he did know was he indeed wanted Sara in his life, and wanted to make sure Molly found a home. If her home consisted of he and Sara, even better, but he could not go back to being alone, not since he met Molly and certainly not since he _met_ Sara again.

The hospital checked Molly out and physically she was fine, but emotionally she had yet to speak. Grissom couldn't even imagine what she had been through, seeing her mother battered so long and then finally seeing what her Father had done. Grissom tried to put on his investigator hat and knew they needed to get any evidence from Molly and find out what she had seen. He knew he should let the day shift handle that, but in his heart he knew that most likely Molly would only speak to Sara or him. Somewhere in the middle of this, his heart had overtaken his head and all he cared about was making sure Molly and Sara were alright. As Grissom walked towards the hospital room, he heard Sara speaking softly to Molly. When he arrived at the room, he saw the two of them sitting close together.

"Molly, can you talk to me about what you happened?"

Molly blankly looked at Sara, her only movement was involuntary blinking that she couldn't control. There was no emotion, no crying, just being. Molly did speak at the scene, but the trip to the hospital yielded her enough time to remember and this is when she started to retreat into her safe place far, far from reality.

Sara saw nothing but the shell of a girl looking back at her. She was probably used to not showing her emotions for fear of disturbing her father or siding with her mother. She remained neutral ever trying to make peace of the situation. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't prevent what had happened, so she just sat there alive, but barely. If she had done more, maybe her Mother would be alive. If she hadn't done so much, maybe her Mother would be alive. How could she be right now? Not thinking, that was the only way to go at this point.

Sara only saw Molly when they were together, truthfully she knew little about her home life.

She truly didn't know how to reach her and was determined to try until she did.

Sara tried again, "Molly, you can't keep this inside. Please. I know you think you are all alone, but you aren't." Sara's eyes pleaded with her. "I am here, talk to me. You have to know this isn't your fault."

Molly just looked at Sara, still no reaction. Sara was really starting to get worried when she heard a noise from the doorway.

Sara turned in time to see Grissom standing there looking in on them.

"Hello Grissom," Sara greeted him with worry written all over her face.

Grissom eyed both Sara and Molly. Molly looked at him still emotionless, ice cold. He may not know women or children well, but he knew Molly was in trouble. He had hoped she would feel comfortable around Sara to talk, but by the look on Sara's face he knew she had gotten nowhere. Before he could even speak two day shift CSI's barged into the room to process Molly.

"Grissom, Sidle." The day shift CSI acknowledged their presence before an uncomfortable silence bestowed the air.

Grissom cleared his throat before asking the two to step out of the room. They made their way out of the room before he spoke. "I understand you two have a job to do, I want Sara with Molly at all times. I have asked Jim Brass to be the police officer to take her statement."

Before they could answer Sara joined them.

Sara didn't dare look at Grissom for fear she wouldn't be able to retain her composure. "You can process any physical evidence of Molly. I do not believe she was assaulted in any way. If you must do a SARS kit, _I_ will do it. I do not care how you must write it up, but no one touches her in that manner, do you understand me?"

The two younger CSI's nodded in agreement, it was apparent Sara wasn't going to back down.

Sara continued to address them. "She hasn't spoken since we got to the hospital, so I don't know how much you will get from her." Once finished, she turned and went back into the room and sat on the bed with Molly.

Sara turned and took Molly's small hands in hers. "Molly, in a minute a few of my co-workers are going to come in here and ask you about your Mommy and Daddy. They are going to ask you what you know and if you saw what happened to your Mommy." Molly obviously registered what Sara said as her eyes widened and stayed fixated on Sara's.

"Don't be scared, I will be with you Molly." Sara gently squeezed her hand and Molly again used her eyes to acknowledge what was going on by blinking and nodding her head at Sara.

The two CSI's followed by Brass and Grissom walked into the room. Sara felt Molly stiffen but remained holding her hand tight.

Jim Brass knew how to handle suspects and witnesses, but Sara wasn't sure how he would handle Molly. He was a Father, but in his own words, a dismal one at best. To say Sara was surprised at the interaction was an understatement.

Brass approached Molly and pulled a chair directly in front of her. "Molly, my name is Jim Brass. I'm a friend of Sara and Grissom's and I'm a police officer. I'm going to ask you a few questions, Ok?"

Molly nodded.

"Molly, can you tell me how you wound up with your Dad at his friends house?"

Molly stared blankly.

Jim hesitated a second and then asked another questions. "Halloween just passed; did you get to go out for Halloween?"

Molly shook her head "Yes."

Brass continued. "What were you? Did you dress up? When my daughter was younger she always wanted to be a princess. What about you?"

Molly hesitated but opened her mouth to answer. "I was a butterfly. My Mommy made me the costume. I told her how much I liked them." Her voice trailed off as she spoke her Mothers name out loud.

"Did your Mommy take you trick or treating?"

Molly nodded in agreement.

"When you got back to your house was your Daddy there?"

Molly eyes opened wider and she continued to nod in agreement.

Sara, Grissom and the two CSI's shared a look of admiration for the seasoned detective. He was getting Molly comfortable enough to speak of the horrible night. Neither Sara nor Grissom had remembered the tragic event happened on Halloween.

Brass continued his pursuit of the truth. "Did you talk to your Dad? Did he talk to your Mommy?"

"Daddy...Daddy asked where dinner was. When Mommy told him she hadn't cooked it yet he got mad, really mad. When they started yelling Mommy told me to go to the closet." Molly was looking down at her hands, unable to look at anyone.

Brass knew it was now or never. "Molly, what else did you see?"

When Molly looked up her eyes welled up with tears. "No. No... No..." She pulled her hands away from Brass. She turned to Sara and buried her face on Sara's shoulder. "No Sara, don't make me tell them. I can't. "

Sara looked deep into Molly's eyes. "Molly, you need to listen to me. You have to tell them what happened. Not because we need to know what happened, because we already know that. You need to get it out. You cannot keep this locked inside of you. Trust me it will eat away at you until you are ready to explode." Sara continued, this time her voice sounded less shaky, "Can you do that for me Molly?"

Molly turned back to Jim. For about a minute she didn't speak, and then when she started, she said it all.

"Daddy was mad at Mommy about dinner. I went to the closet and held my dolly. I heard Mommy scream."

_"No Rich, please no. I will have dinner ready soon." By the look in his eyes she knew he was mad and no steak dinner would calm him. She was ready to take what he had, as long as Molly was ok. _

_   
"Did you hear me Bitch? I want my dinner now." He walked over and picked up a baseball bat. He kept it near so that Miranda knew he meant business. He hadn't used it since before she sent him to jail, but she needed to be taught a lesson. _

_She turned her back at the first blow; it knocked her nearly over the dining room table. _

"_Please Rich, let me get dinner ready."_

_When Miranda turned back again to retrieve the food from the cabinet, she was met with another blow, and another._

"_It's too late, I'm not hungry. Do you see what you make me do?" _

_Another hit, this time across the face. Her tooth flew across the room._

_Miranda's screams caused Molly to open the door._

"_No Daddy don't do hurt Mommy. Let me help her, I can make you dinner," Molly pleaded with her father desperately. _

_Molly trying to help her Mother only proved to add more fuel and Rich became even more infuriated. "Molly, you don't want to help your Mother. Don't be like her."_

_Smack, he hit Miranda again across the face. This blow throwing her down on the ground. _

"_No Daddy, NO." Molly moved in front of her Mother. _

"_If you want to be like her..." Rich approached Molly and lifted his hand to strike her. _

_Miranda was now enraged. She got up and picked Molly up shielding her from his blows. _

_It only took one more blow, a square shot in the head. Miranda went limp over Molly. After what seemed like forever, Rich pulled Molly away from her Mother and the two fled out the door. _

Molly was shaking and turned to Sara, "I couldn't stop him. I tried, I really did. Will you tell Mommy I'm sorry?"

Sara turned towards Brass and the two CSI's, "That is enough, and we are done here." Sara turned towards the group, "Can you give us a few minutes?"

Grissom watched as they exited the room, his eyes meeting with each of them as they departed giving them his approval. When Brass walked through Grissom shook his hand. It took someone of his caliber to have pulled of what he did. Brass handled them all, the toughest hardened criminals and the most vulnerable victims.

He walked over to Molly and Sara and pulled them both in for a hug. Molly looked up and held both Sara and Grissom's hands. "Come on, let's go home."

Molly sniffled and stated the obvious. "I don't have a home." She looked down.

Sara and Grissom exchanged looks.

Grissom spoke without hesitation. "Of course you do, with us."

Sara looked at him again, "Griss, I only have 1 bedroom in my house, and my couch is uncomfortable."

"Sara, my place has 2 bedrooms, one for Molly, and one for _US."_

"We need to talk about this Griss." Sara wanted to be happy, but didn't want the situation to drive their relationship.

"Sara, we are tired, let's just go to my place. I'm not asking you for the world, just tonight. Molly needs us. When you are ready, the rest is up for discussion."

Grissom stole a look between Sara and Molly before continuing, "Besides, we will have to bring Molly to family court by Monday. That woman from the Division of Child Services was already talking about putting Molly up in Foster Care until they find any family."

She smiled and looked at Molly and then Grissom. "OK, let's go home."

"I'm going to drop you and Molly off. I need to head back to work for an hour."

Sara looked at him inquisitively, "Why?"

Grissom's face said it all, but he clarified it anyway. "I need to have a discussion with a man over the treatment of women and children."

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

**Healing and Beginnings – Chapter 15**

**The end is here! Thank you again to Rica for being my beta! **

**I wanted to thank you for the kind reveiews, they make my day!**

Sara and Molly left the hospital and made their way to Grissom's house. Sara felt hesitant walking up to his door, it still felt as if she was intruding rather than making herself at home. She and Grissom had only been together a short time and they both still had their personal space.

Sara looked down at Molly and knew to the girl it didn't matter. She needed to be safe and secure and she needed them. "Molly, are you hungry?"

Molly just shook her head eye contact was not even possible in her state.

Sara knelt down to reach her. "Molly, how about some cereal," Lifting the girls chin up, "please?"

Sara didn't wait for her answer as they proceeded to the kitchen to find something to fill the void in their stomachs. Sara poured two bowls, filled them with milk and placed them on the table. They ate in silence each battling their own demons. Sara finished and looked over at Molly who was picking her bowl up to drink the milk when it spilled on the table and down on the floor. Molly instantly started to cry.

"I'm sorry Sara, I'll clean it up." Molly quickly ran to the kitchen to get a towel to wipe up the mess all along crying and declaring her sorrow.

"It's ok Molly, no one is going to get mad at you," Sara needed to make her believe accidents happen and that a simple "sorry" makes it ok. It took a few minutes but she managed to calm Molly down.

Sara looked over at Molly who was now yawning and looking in serious need of some sleep. "Come on, let's get you to bed," Sara said as she took the girl by the hand and led her to the guest room.

The room itself was rather large with a queen size bed in the middle of the room a few pictures on the wall and a rocking chair in the corner. There was a big window next to the chair along with a reading table and lamp. It was obvious Grissom used the room to read as there was a stack of magazines there.

Molly walked to the bed and climbed on. Sara took her shoes off and joined her feeling a bit uncomfortable not knowing what the girl needed. Despite all that Molly had been through in the past 24 hours, sleep found her fast. She was curled up in the middle of the bed using Sara as a pillow.

In spite of being tired, Sara was not able to sleep. Her mind kept pondering all that happened over the past few days. She was also worried about what Grissom would do to Rich. It had been two hour since he left them at the hospital and now she was truly starting to worry. She could call Brass but didn't want to cause any more trouble. Eventually her mind went blank and she fell into a light sleep.

Sitting outside his town house Grissom rubbed his knuckles trying to calm down before entering his house. The last thing Sara and Molly needed was to see him like this. He took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes. He was tired, both mentally and physically. In the past when he was this upset with something he needed to be alone. Right now, that was impossible with the two women now sleeping in _his_ house. He could hardly believe what had happened over the past six months.

Since that fateful day when he received the call about Sara being pulled over, his entire life changed. During the span of the call he knew his life would change forever, but he could never have predicted where it was right now. The intimate relationship with Sara was still blossoming and he was even more convinced he didn't want to spend anymore time apart from her. He loved her and was willing to do whatever it takes to ensure he made her happy for the rest of their lives. He was fairly certain that she felt the same as well.

His thoughts then drifted to Molly. He wasn't ready to think about Molly, yet. When he went to see Rich at the station Brass informed him that Molly had only one Aunt, who already had 5 kids. The aunt was on her way to Vegas but was honest when she advised them she wasn't sure if she could handle another child. Grissom never truly thought about wanting children, nor had he and Sara spoken about it, but if he was to have one he knew he could love Molly as his own. He already knew he wanted to marry Sara and he even bought her a ring when he was in Hawaii. Wishful thinking on his part, although he knew she was the only person he could spend the rest of his life with.

Holding back another yawn, he exited his truck and made his way to his house. He opened the door fully expecting to see Sara awake, but was surprised to hear silence. He made his way to the guest room and saw a beautiful sight. Molly and Sara curled up together sleeping peacefully. He walked over to the bed smiling at Sara's face. He could never get tired of seeing her face, especially looking so peaceful. He traced her face with his fingers before he noticed the dried blood still on his knuckles. _Damn, they can't see the blood, his blood on my hand. _

Grissom decided to take a shower before getting his rest. He turned the water on and undressed before stepping into the steaming shower. He closed his eyes and thought back on his conversation with Rich. When Brass saw him approach the room he gave him a look of worry.

"_Gil, do you think it is such a good idea for you to go in there?" Brass asked while trying to put his hand up to stop his friend. Gong in there would be a mistake, but who was he to stop him, hell, he wanted to land a punch and he wasn't nearly as emotionally involved as his friend. _

_Grissom walked in and sat across from the cold blooded murderer. The two just stared at each other neither being the first to speak. Grissom couldn't imagine that this 'normal' looking man could do what he did to Miranda and almost did to Molly. Getting his encouragement up, Grissom looked over at the police office protecting the room and kindly asked him to give them a few minutes, alone. _

_The officer nodded in agreement but not before shooting him a look of concern. _

_Grissom slowly walked over to stand next to Rich. "Stand up," Grissom ordered his voice beaming through the Police Department halls. "I want you to look in my eyes and tell me something."_

_Rich stood up almost cowering at the angry man standing beside him. He thought better than to open his mouth. _

"_Why? Why couldn't you just stay away? Leave them alone. What makes you think you have the right to hurt your wife and child? Do you think she deserved it?" Grissom's face fell flush and he felt his temper rise just looking at the pathetic man standing before him. _

_Rich looked down acting bored at the man's tirade. _

_This fueled Grissom even more. "Look at me," he continued, "in the eye's."_

_Rich complied._

_With all his force Grissom landed a punch square on Rich's face. He had never hit a suspect, or truly come close, until now. Rich was now on the floor looking up at Grissom. _

_   
Grissom rubbed his hand and pushed the chair over as Brass and two officers hurried in the room._

"_What happened here Gil?" _

_Grissom looked at his friend blankly before pointing to the chair. "He fell over the chair," he said before walking out._

_Brass turned to the officers and then to Rich, "Good enough for us, don't you agree?"_

_They nodded, hell, after seeing the pictures of what he had done they wanted to help him fall over a chair again, but they left that up to Grissom. _

_Rich stood up and tried to speak before being cut off by Brass. _

"_I'll make sure to tell the Director to fix the chair, don't you think?" _

_Nothing else was exchanged between any of them, Rich knew better. _

By the time Grissom finally finished scrubbing the filth off of his hands the water was ice cold. The chill that ran through his body now caused him to shake. He was cold, colder not just physically but also mentally. Right now he wanted nothing better than to curl up next to Sara and Molly, but he didn't want to frighten either one of them, so he made his way to his room and slipped under the covers quickly falling into a deep sleep.

Sara was awakened in the morning by Molly shaking her.

"I'm hungry Sara," Molly declared with the look of innocence on her face.

Sara rubbed her eyes and looked over at the clock, 6:50 am. Normally she would be at work right now and fully awake, but for now she felt like hell as it felt like the middle of the night. "Ok, give me a minute and I'll see what we can do."

Sara forgot where she was and walked to the bathroom in her T-Shirt and panties only to walk straight into Grissom. They both jumped back in total shock, each forgetting the other was there. After a second, the uncomfortable feeling subsided and it almost felt normal. In fact, it almost felt normal to fight over the bathroom, and Sara liked it.

Grissom looked down shyly, "Go ahead, ladies first." He barely managed to get the words out of his mouth as he continued to look Sara up and down. It wasn't until Molly said good morning that he was broken out of his spell.

"Are you girl's hungry? I can make us some pancakes," he asked, looking between Sara and Molly. They both said yes and Grissom turned and headed to the kitchen to cook trying to forget the full feeling of his bladder was making against his jeans.

The three had just about finished breakfast when Sara's cell phone rang.

"Sidle."

Sara was listening contently at what the voice on the other end was saying and then began to speak. "I'll have Molly ready by 10, thank you."

Sara snapped her phone shut and looked up to see 2 pairs of eyes glued on her. "That was social services. They are sending over an agent as well as bringing Molly's aunt."

She turned to look at Molly, "How do you feel about your Aunt?"

"I like her, she's nice. She took me to the beach with her this year," she paused, "Am I going to live with her?"

"We are not sure Molly. Do you remember meeting the social worker yesterday?"

Molly nodded.

Sara continued, "She is bringing your Aunt over and she wants to speak to you."

Molly simply said "ok".

Sara turned to Molly and asked if she wanted to watch TV so she and Grissom could talk.

Grissom walked over and turned the TV on handing Molly the remote. He knew he would have no idea what a 6 year old would watch on TV.

Grissom and Sara walked over to the seating area outside the kitchen far enough so that they would speak freely without Molly hearing.

Grissom turned to Sara needing to know what she was thinking right now as she has had a look of fear on her face since the phone call. "Sara, what else did the Social worker say You look concerned."

"She said that most likely Molly's aunt wasn't going to be able to take Molly and that they were working on foster homes for her." Sara closed her eyes fighting back the tears.

"Griss, I know the system, I can't let her get lost in the system, I can't. I will do anything to not let that happen."

He looked deep into her eyes, "Sara, what do you know about the foster system?"

She wasn't able to look in his eyes as she explained as little as necessary to get her point across. She didn't speak about that time, ever. "I was in the system once, for a short time. I wouldn't want my worst enemy there."

"When Sara?" He reached out and held her hands, "what happened?"

She sighed, "It doesn't matter now or why, it just happened. I can't let that happen to Molly. I will raise her alone if I have to, but I just can't stand by and let her slip into the system."

Her use of the term "The system" made it clear to Grissom that she felt strong about it, and when Sara Sidle felt strong about something, there was nothing standing in her way.

"Have you ever thought about a family Sara?" he lifted her chin up to gage her reaction.

"Yes, no, maybe?"

Sara laughed, "I guess it was hard to ever want a family of my own when I never felt like I truly had a family. Then I met Molly and things changed, I guess I changed. I think I would like it."

She turned the tables, "What about you Griss? Did you ever want a family?"

He smiled at her for a long time before speaking, knowing the words he was about to speak could change the rest of their lives.

"Sara," he again lifted her chin to look directly in her eyes. "I always considered work my family and that was always enough. I'm sorry that it took your 'incident' to make me realize I could have lost you. See, it wasn't just work that was my family, it was you. Some people go home from work to see their family, I went to work to see mine. If you think about it, we spent almost every holiday together over the past 4 years, just not in the traditional sense."

Sara laughed, he did have a point.

Grissom continued, "I never thought I could 'do it', put a relationship before work, but I'm ready Sara, more than you will ever know. I want you as my family. I don't want to have to go to work to _not_ feel alone, I want to come home and be with you and be with Molly. She is a great kid, and more than anything I want to make both of you happy, hopefully forever."

Sara was taken back by his words as her heart was slowly melting. She shook her head to straighten her thoughts. "Griss, this is too fast, I can't let my need to help Molly push you into something too fast."

Grissom looked at her in disbelief not saying a word before he rose and walked away.

The emotion of the past few days coupled with Grissom walking away made Sara lose it. The tears she had been choking back now riddled her face. Molly heard this and joined Sara.

"Sara, are you crying?" Seeing Sara cry made Molly sad and she too almost started to cry.

Grissom was now walking back to them and was shocked to see them so upset. "Now guys, why are you crying?" He reached out and pulled them in for a group hug.

He looked back down at Molly, "Can you give us just a few more minutes, and then I promise we can talk, ok sweetie?"

She shook her head 'yes'.

He turned back to face Sara using his thumbs to wipe away the tears. "Sara, I'm not sure words enough can tell you how serious I am. When I was on vacation I did some deep down soul searching. Sure I have always known I wanted to be with you, but I kept pushing it off for another day as work always came first. When I realized how my actions affected both of our lives, I knew then and there I couldn't push you away any more. I remember this so clearly because I was sitting on the beach watching a Mom and a kid playing ball. At one point the ball came over towards me and the most darling little girl started talking to me asking me where my family was. It hit me, I didn't have a family, and she helped me realize how much I wanted one. That girl was Molly, and although few words were spoken she helped me realize what and who I wanted."

He pulled Sara in for a hug whispering the rest in her ear. "So you see Sara, since I met you and since I met Molly you have been my family, now, I want you to let me be yours."

He stepped back and dropped on his knee, "Sara Sidle, will you be my family? Will you marry me?" Grissom reached in his pocket and pulled out a small black box opening it for Sara to see. It was a beautiful round one carat diamond. The insignia inside the box read Maui Divers, Hawaii.

Sara wrapped her arms around his neck and just held him. Once she was sure her voice would work she spoke. "Yes, oh yes Griss, I will marry you!"

Just then Molly ran in the room squealing, "You are getting married?"

In sync, they replied, "Yes!"

Molly was happy for a second and then a sad look took over her face. "What about me?"

Sara and Grissom shared a look, they didn't need the words to each know what the other was thinking. Sara turned to Molly, "Molly, if things don't work out with your Aunt, we would love to have you here with us."

Molly smiled, "Really?"

Grissom pulled both Sara and Molly in for a hug, "I've never been surer of anything in my whole life."

After they hugged, he turned to Sara handing her a cup of coffee. He rose his cup to hers, "Here's to Healing and new beginnings."

**The End**

**Thank you for sticking with this story! I'm contemplating writing an epilogue, let me know if you are interested!**


	16. Epilogue

**_Epilogue to Healing and Beginnings_** - **_Lucky Eights_**

**Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I wanted to thank each of you who have reviewed, it helped me get this far. Sad to think my first ever fan fic is over. Thanks for Rica and Megan for encouragement.**

Sara rolled over covering her head with a pillow in an attempt to remain asleep. Sara and sleep were now intimate, the more sleep she got, the happier she was. Realizing what day it was, Sara woke with a start. Today was Molly's 8th birthday. She stretched and bent down to kiss Grissom, who was still peacefully snoring on the pillow next to hers.

She walked out of the room, their bedroom they had shared for the past eighteen months, and continued her way to Molly's room. She peeked in and saw Molly peacefully curled up on her bed_. She's already eight years old; already a little lady, and the love of their lives._

It had been just shy of two years since the fateful time that brought The Grissom's together. After the murder that took Molly's Mother, all of their lives had changed forever. It had taken 8 days for social services to approve Sara as Molly's temporary Guardian, and another 8 months for Grissom and Sara to get married, and another 18 months for Molly to be adopted by Gil and Sara.

Sara couldn't imagine life without both Gil and Molly, the two that had brought their family together. The bond that they shared was strong. For Sara, she and Molly bonded over their similar pasts. Sara didn't want Molly to grow up hiding the memories of her abusive past, but by talking about it together, they were both getting past it. Molly shared Sara's passion on helping abused children, as she now was spending more and more time getting involved in the 'Big Sister' program. Together, they developed a peer problem where kids were helping kids. For only being on this earth 8 years, Molly's wisdom had already helped many kids who are in the same situation she had lived through.

Gil and Molly too shared a tight bond. It was Molly who in her own innocent way brought Gil to realize his life was not complete. It took Gil to fulfill Molly's life for a stable family and a strong father figure. The love the two shared was strong even if Gil wasn't her biological Father. The day he legally adopted Molly was the second best day of his life, second only to his marrying the love of his life Sara.

Not sure if it was luck, or simple fate, but happiness coincided with the Grissom's.

The family routine fell in place. Sara's training landed her a permanent job on the day shift, and Grissom remained lead on the night shift. They each had their special time alone with Molly, yet had enough time for each other. Breakfast belonged to Grissom and Molly, after which he drove her to school. He used this time to get his sleep for the day. After school Molly had soccer and dance class, and then Grissom picked her up. Dinner was always as a family.

Today would be no different for the Grissom's except that it was Molly's birthday. They wanted to make a big deal out of her birthday ever since they had learned what sorrow she remembered from her past birthdays. Sara quickly showered and headed out to the living room to go over details of the party. It was Saturday and tonight they planned a surprise party for Molly. The entire crew was coming over. It was the first time in months they all managed to be off at the same time. They had to keep it quiet for fear Ecklie or Sofia would know and try and call some of them in.

Sara was pouring herself a cup of coffee when she heard a shriek coming from Molly's room. It was common for Molly to have nightmares of what she saw. They were coming less and less frequently, but still happened from time to time. Sara quickly pulled Molly in for a hug. The two rocked back and forth.

"It's ok Molly, let it out, it's ok to cry," Sara kissed the top of her head, "Shh- I'm here."

Grissom woke at the sound of the scream. He now recognized if the scream was that of Molly's or that of Sara's. Over the past two years Grissom has learned the truth about Sara's past, and her similarity to Molly's. He stood aside her as her passionate soul got Molly out of the foster system and into a real home. Ever since gave everything he had to show both of them they are loved, and they are family, together.

Grissom ran into Molly's room and took them in his strong arms. They practically melted in his arms. Within minutes, Molly felt safe, and looked up to see the concern on Gil and Sara's faces.

"I'm ok, thanks"

Sara gave her one last hug. There was no need to talk about what happened for they all knew what the nightmares were about. Being together was the catalyst that brought healing fall all of them.

Gil looked at Molly, her hair rumpled, her eyes red with tears, "What does our lovely young lady want for breakfast on her birthday?"

Molly flashed him her hundred-dollar smile. Her smile spanned her face, and her teeth had that familiar gap in them. Despite Gil knowing it was biologically impossible, Molly was a young Sara, and at times like these it was hard to believe she wasn't biologically his either. Truth be told, there wasn't enough words on this planet to describe how Gil Grissom loved Sara and Molly, and until he could no longer physically or mentally do so, he was going to do everything in his power to make them happy forever.

Gil stood up, put his hands out, and helped them from the bed, "I'll get breakfast going, how does pancakes sound?"

Molly smiled, "Can we have the chocolate covered grasshoppers with them?"

Sara snarled, "Oh no, not you too?"

Molly grabbed Gil's hand and they walked to the kitchen to find them some chocolate covered treats.

Sara shook her head in disbelief, "As long as I don't have to witness it- bleck! I'm heading to the shower."

Later that afternoon the guests started arriving. Molly was thrilled when three of her friends from school came over. She was even happier when Greg came over, she thought he was super cute, so did her friends.

The party was fun and after the cake Molly opened her. She got fun presents including a cool I-Pod from Catherine, Warrick, Nick and Greg. Her friends were so impressed! After all her presents were opened Molly looked a bit confused.

Sara decided it was long enough and asked Molly if she wanted to open their present.

"Yes, thank you."

For all Molly has been through, her manners and demeanor was that of a young lady, amazing for what she had been through.

Gil and Sara smiled at each other, and handed her a small box. Molly opened it and inside sat a Gold heart shining up at her. Molly lifted it out of the box, and carefully opened it. It was a three way heart, with a picture of Molly, Sara and Gil inside each fold. It was engraved, "Family"

Everyone in the room was now choked up, Gil pulled Molly and Sara in for a hug and whispered, "Neither of you will be alone again, I promise."

The silence of the room was broken by Greg, "Ahh, Group hug everyone."

Everyone laughed, they needed it.

Molly turned to Gil and Sara, "Can I ask you a question?"

They both nodded yes,

"Can I- Can I call you 'Mom' and 'Dad'?"

There wasn't a dry eye in the house, Sara looked around the room at her family, and "I'd love nothing better."

Gil sunk down on one knee, took Molly's hands in his, "I'd be honored."

Molly was crying, only this time, they were happy tears. "I think I'll always remember my 8th birthday, thanks Mom and Dad."

The end!


End file.
